Agent 4 Does Gang Weed
by Edgar Allen Do
Summary: Agent 4 does Gang Weed and it is epic. For anyone looking for some of the weird 4*2 romance everyone on this site loves, skip to chapter 7. Originally a Gamers Rise Up shitpost, has evolved into a 40,000 word Jojo shitpost.
1. Chapter 1:Of Monsters and Gamers

To my future employers: if you're reading this, please don't take anything here the wrong way. This is purely satirical. The badness is supposed to reflect that. Or, if you're having doubts, just don't hire me at all.

* * *

"Extra! Extra! Reports show an unknown inkling clad in neon green along with two presumably female inklings accompanying the third bringing back the Great Zapfish at the dead of night. Other than that, no other evidence has been found."

"So as we usually do, keep your kids inside, keep local respawn points at full charge, and..."

"Now, I think that's a bit farfetched, Ivan, I mean sure, the situation is suspicious, but what reason would these inklings go through all the trouble of returning the thing if it's not for good intent?"

"You're far too naive, Alex, these could be eco-terrorists implanting something into the Great Zapfish for all we know."

"Ok, you are being way too pessimistic. In our time of crisis, these few people brought us back one of our biggest sources of power! How could you say that about them?"

"You know what, you..."

*Click*

"*Sigh* This is why I don't watch television."

* * *

The sun was shining, the trees were blooming, the kids playing in the village square. Or so, that would be from the perspective of a normal inkling. In Four's case, it was decrepit walls and destroyed furniture. Thursdays, am I right?

Four, of course couldn't sulk around the apartment as usual, as today was a special day. He didn't know this, however, because his sense of time was in complete whack from the last special day last week.

"1:30, eh?" Four exclaimed, "Sweet, got a few more hours of sulking before I have to go meet up with Trevor".

All of a sudden, the doors came crashing down.

"Well, shit." Four spurted out.

"Alright, Four, you know what time it is." the mysterious, but quite tall figure said.

"Look, I ain't got the money, but you know I'm good for it" Four rebutted.

"First of all: No, you're not. You payed on time once in all of our history together, and half of those times you payed anything was from loan from me. And Second: There's also the maintenance costs, and I have made this dump the finest quality I can. You on the other hand, have made this place the way it is in the first week." the inkling responded.

"Look man, we've been friends since high school. Gimme a pass on this one!" Four connivingly pleaded.

"Ok, I'm sorry about the bullying back in freshling year. But you have to let that go." The man honestly pleaded.

"Yes, Yes, I have. Just gimme a few more days. I got your rent." Four exclaimed.

"Alright. 2 more days. For your sake, and mine." The man said.

"Thanks for this, Richard. I'll make good, I promise." Four exclaimed.

"This was a terrible investment." Richard whispered under his breath.

"Perhaps it was, perhaps not." Four retorted.

"Stop doing that." Richard angrily begged.

* * *

Four decided to pack and meet Trevor early, after all his awakening was sudden, and hey, he just felt like it. After he packed his Turf War gear, his SquidPod, and his best brush for the occasion, he headed out. Once he finally got to the Café, he ordered himself a nice special saver latte, when all of a sudden..

"Still ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, eh?"

It was, of course, Trevor.

"And what's wrong with having expensive taste?" Four quickly rebutted, spitting out a noticeable portion of his drink onto Trevor.

"Maybe if you payed your bills like you were supposed to." Trevor snapped, cleaning up the mess on his shirt.

"I always pay him back when I can. I merely take his opportunity when he offers it." Four casually said.

"Still a dick move." Trevor sternly rebutted,"Anyway, why are you named Four? How do you get Four out of Joseph?"

"First of all:I tend to not concern myself with the thought and feelings of others; it is far to stressful. And Second: You keep asking that question over and over again. As I have said before, it will be explained in time." Four snarkily snarked.

"Cool. Anyways, have you seen the new episode of Inko-wars? This new controversy over the inkling in neon green is sweeping up every news site. And here's the catch: there was a note on the Great Zapfish left by the mysterious inkling telling all major news sites to reserve a spot in this Cafè. And here's the kicker: I registered 2 seats for that day, so we can see the interview in person." Trevor excitedly exclaimed.

"First of all, it's Café, not Cafè. Second, I saw 5 seconds of it, and there's gonna be more political violence there than all of the French revolution. It's dangerous and pointless." Four, who by now had finished his drink and was on his way to ordering another.

"Obscure Homo Sapien history reference aside, you simply can't see what's so great about modern politics because you are merely too self-centered. Just come. I'm paying for drinks." Trevor snobbishly pleaded.

"Fuck it, i'm in." Four quickly said as he turned around,"however, you better uphold your end of this bargain. Now, we should probably head out to the Tower. I'm close to A+."

* * *

The teams were set. Four, Trevor, XxxLeg_0_lazzxxX, and Master Chief representing the Purple team, while Darth_Vader_likesgreenday, Stephen Strange, Gandhi, and [Japanese text] represented the Yellow team.

"So, a brush, a jet squelcher, and two aerosprays in Tower Control. Fuck." Four thought.

And so the games begin. And it went exactly like you'd expect.

*1 min remaning!*

"So...anyone got any bright ideas?" Trevor snobbishly said.

At this point it was Four suicide running saving the team from utter destruction. The team was backed into their last line of defense on blackbelly skatepark. But then, as the all-too familiar whooshing sound came to the purple team's spawn:

"I think I have and idea." Four exclaimed.

The stalemate was running thin, and so the purple team obviously retreated.

"Charge, you fools!" Darth_Vader_likesgreenday confidently declared.

"Wait... I thought there were four of them."Gandhi said with concern.

"Japanese Text Japanese Text."[Japanese Text] exclaimed, but it was too late.

"TEAM WIPE! YOU'VE KILLED THEM ALL!"

And with that victory ended Four's stalemate with A+.

* * *

Rumors quickly spread about this ingenious tactic. At least for five minutes. And in the opposing yellow team's corner.

"That was total BS. they had to have cheated or something." Strange angrily exclaimed.

"We demand a recount!" Gandhi shouted.

But by then the duo already headed home, not before kicking the other randos in the nards. The duo crossed road after road. Until...

"Welp, here's the old fork in the road." Trevor calmly said.

"And you still failed to tell me when the event in the Café takes place." Four snarkishly snaps.

"Oh yeah. Two days from now. Make sure to be there. Anyways, see ya." Trevor said.

And so Trevor headed home. Four, on the other hand, went back to the City.

* * *

As Four got back to the city, it was night. He knew his instincts had a 50/50 chance of lying to him, but the desire for peace of mind outweighed the odds entirely. He headed back to the Café, and, just by chance, a looming presence stood by him.

"Who goes there?! I knew my eyes weren't lying to me with that figure in the side!" Four shouted.

"Calm down love. What's wif the weapon. Just lower it." The figure soothingly said.

"Oh, Spyke, it's just you." Four sighed in relief.

"Your eyes don't lie to you, love. Anyway, I'm glad you liked that Ninja Squid armor we just got." Spyke assuringly said.

"Let's cut the chat. I grow tired, and I wanna go home." Four sternly said.

"Alright. Listen, love, some high-end guys are looking for ya services, and I here they're willing to play a high price that I know you're quite fond of." Spyke smugly assured.

"You can't mean..." Four stuttered in shock.

"Oh I mean that." Spyke said even more smugly. "Here's the note they told me to deliver to you. Now, I gotta head out. Some hotshot Ranked player wants to complete her clothes collection."

* * *

Four went home casually, and tore the letter open before he went to sleep. It was true.

"We've been watching you, hotshot, and I've gotta say: you're a good kid. Maybe good enough to do what we seek to pull off. If you're interested, slip the card underneath your typical desk over at the Café at noon sharp. Otherwise, burn this note. We'll know if you don't."

Four also saw a card fly out of the note with a joker of hearts on it.

* * *

The next day, Four, of course, overslept this deadline, and rushed quickly to the Café. The Café was more populated than usual, but it is noon, so what did you expect. Four sat in his normal spot, quietly observing every patron in the room, until eventually he slipped the card under the desk. He waited a response, and there was nothing. He waited for and hour before Trevor showed up, had a 3 sentence chat I'm too lazy to type and went off. More waiting. Eventually, Four got tired of waiting and went outside. He was then promptly kidnapped.

When he awoke, he saw a beautiful marble room, with chandeliers on every corner. As he gazed in the room, he quickly threw a burst bomb at the camera in the top left corner.

"Good, Good. You're the guy." the figure in the shadow coldly said.

"Let's cut the chat and get to business." Four sternly exclaimed.

"Fine." The shadowed figure cooly said.

The shadowed figure revealed himself slowly. As one figure became five, the shadows became tangible. It was the Joker and his fellow members of the Epic Gamer Squad.

"So, what would the Joker, Lego Yoda, Peter Griffin, King Dedede, and Ben Shapiro need with me?" Four snarkishly said.

"A lot, actually." The Joker said. "Like your skill of breaking and entering."

"That was only once...Or, well, it was five times, but that third situation with the government facility was nothing. It was just morbid curiosity." Agent 4 snapped.

"Take away the fact that you are good at stealth, it does not. Perfect candidate, you are." Lego Yoda says.

"You still forget to tell me what my mission is." Four says as his eyes roll.

"Listen here, squibble-quibble. You gonna get that WEED so we can do the DEDEDEED!" King Dedede shouts with passion.

"Ok, but why are you sending me instead of one of you guys. And why are you even here, instead of the Homo Sapien era?" Four asked.

"Stop being a liberal and go." Ben Shapiro jokingly snapped.

"Just stop asking questions, and we'll be willing to share the load." Peter Griffin assures Four.

"You had me at 'The next day'. Where am I going exactly?" Four asked.

"Discussed this next, we intended to. Into Octo Valley, you must go. Dangerous and full of Octarians, that place is. Deep into the third area, you must go. Find Shell City, you must. Bring gang weed and become epic, you must." Lego Yoda said in his eternal wisdom.

"Here's your map. Take our sewer system out back, and prepare your arsenal. There are two Octarian fortresses guarding each warp point, so watch yourself." The Joker explained while handing Four the map.

"Good luck to you, fellow gamer." Peter says.

"Thanks. And by the way, where's your armory?" Four asks.

"Don't have one, hmmmm. Got your equipment, we already have." Lego Yoda explains.


	2. Chapter 2: An unexpected turn of events

Night quickly overtook the city, along with the other parts of the world, however that was hardly a matter for the citizens of Inkopolis city. Night workers, clubs, bars as far as the eye could see. The noises of Forensics workers, teenage partygoers, and, if you listened closely, the faint sound of...

"I am going to take my horse to the old town road and I am going to riiiiiide it until I can't anymore." Four blissfuly hummed to himself.

It had been quite a while since his departure. Or well, it was to him at least. Relative to the Earth, it had been 5 minutes.

He had been blissfully walking with his trusty SquidPod in tact, set to his covers of Homo Sapien songs, of course, until he stumbled upon a simple shack. Of course, he just had to search inside.

"Nothing but burger wrappers, crumpled papers, and a globe with a giant octopus inside." Four whispered to himself.

Just then, a sound of liquid came from the back. Four's obvious instinct was to hide in said shack.

"Jesus, this is unsanitary." Four thought to himself, as three voices arose from the distance.

"AHHHH! There's a figure in the shack! IT"S HAUNTEDDD!"

"Calm, down, gramps. I'm sure it was just a bird."

"Or his schizophrenia is acting up again."

"Oh, you're probably right. But if I could make a request, could one of you stay the night?"

"Of course, Gramps. I'll stay"

"Eh, the apartment's pretty far away anyways. I can stay"

Four was horrified by this notion. His fight or flight response kicked in, and he went to squid form and hid underneath the bed. The trio, who he never got a good look at, thankfully passed. However, in the very periphery of his peripheral vision, he could swear two cold, yellow eyes were staring right at him.

* * *

The sun was shining, the trees were blooming, the children were playing in the village square. Unless, of course, you were Four, who just had his entire plan thwarted by three sleeping inklings. It was daybreak by the time he got up, and, thankfully, the trio was gone. He shifted back, grabbed his stuff, and headed out of the cabin.

"What the hell am I going to do about the octoling base up north now?" Four shouted into the blue sky.

Thankfully, he had a bright idea. He was simply gonna storm the place, because what could go wrong? He headed north with haste, and got to the base around midday, with many a "Country Roads" to be had along the way.

"Busting it through the main gate is a bust. I'll have to see if there's another way." Four sighed.

Luckily for Four, there was a nearby cargo dock that led directly to the prison, which, from what he could see, led to the warp. With a cold chill down his spine, he grinned, and drifted down from the hill into the base.

* * *

"So then that's when I said, if ya can't handle the zapfish, stay out of the electrical room" the Octoling snickered to her partner.

"Haha COMEDY." the other octoling rebutted.

"So anyways...Wait what the FU"

Four got to the bottom of the dock, stabbed the duo with his brush, and ran immediately past all the crates of eggs being unpacked. When he got to the machinery area, the intruder alarm was in fill swing, and Four took a crate, threw it at three guards, then ran for dear life inside.

"Get the damn intruder already. How the hell did you people miss all of those shots?" a random Octoling screamed in the distance.

"Uh, because our A.I is terrible?" the others rebutted.

"Don't worry, the snipers will get him." One Octoling piped up in the distance.

And of course, they did.

* * *

A faint sound of slapping could be heard from the entire building.

"Tell us who the hell you are, and what business did you have here?" one Octoling snapped.

"I am a mere traveler who wishes to reach Shell City." Four nonchalantly said. "May you untie me and grant me safe passage?"

"Now, see, normally we would take it, and let you off with a warning, but there have been reports of an inkling destroying Octarian bases and taking Zapfish. How do we know you're not them?" the other Octoling sternly rebutted.

"Well, first of all, from the reports i've heard, they wear a cape and are yellow, while I am purple. Second off, because they're right behind you." Four snarkily said.

All of a sudden a mysterious figure flipped up into the air, shooting the Octolings in the process, and quickly landed. Four got up, untied himself, and grabbed his stuff.

"Who the hell are you, why are you here, and what business do you have." the figure said.

"I wish passage through here, and I wish to reach Shell City. As for my name, i'd rather we kept that disclosed. Sound fair?"

For a second, the figure raised their gun arm, but then lowered it.

"I can understand in this area. Leave quickly, and on your way back, go underneath the shack to the left, and make sure not to wake up the globemaster." the figure said in a solemn voice.

"Thanks. And by the way, you can ditch the voice synthesizer. My hearing may not be good, but I can tell a woman's voice." Four snapped.

"You're good, kid. You could've busted your way through here yourself if you weren't so lazy." the inkling said, lowering the voice synthesizer.

"I actually just wanted put any suspicion, however small, on me onto you. I got one more of these left to clear, after all." Four said.

Four proceeded to hop on the jump point, and headed to the next area.

* * *

The trek to the next base was long, and of course uneventful. It was reaching nightfall at this point. As it was still the afternoon, Four decided to go off the beaten path to Mount Nantai, and take a breather there. All was going well, the fire was lit, the sitting spots were set, until...

"Please, sir, you have to help! My friend, she was captured and sent to the Octoling base west of here!" the short inkling quickly, and quite loudly, pleaded.

"Look, tiny, the only way to get prisoners out of that place is to take over the entire place, and that would require at least 300 inklings. The gates and bars are laced with string that will set off the entire alarm system. It's impossible." Four rebutted, showing the inkling a piece.

"Not for this." the Inkling assuringly said as she gave Four a laptop. "My friend is a masterful engineer. Bust her out with this program, and I'll give you this 40% coupon at the Inkopolis Café."

"Fine. I'll see what I can do." Four said, as he took the laptop and went North.

When he got to the Northern Base, he notice a lack of size, and, as the soldiers were weary, simply put himself in a crate, waited for movement, and KO'd the Octoling as soon as he heard the door open. It was, conveniently, right next to the prison cells. He went to the cells, but for some odd reason, there was only one prisoner: an Octoling.

"This better not be a ploy." Four cursed under his breath.

He opened the laptop, and he started the program.

*Full Security Reboot*

This loud noise woke up everyone: the guards, the cameramen, the cargoworkers, and, conveniently, the prisoner. The footsteps towards the cells could be heard from a mile away.

"Get the hell up, and run." Four shouted, as he broke open the cell.

The duo got up, and ran for the exit. They encountered a few fast Octoling guards, but they were quickly taken out. The cargo door was, unfortunately, blocked off for the night.

"What the hell do we do?" Yelled Four.

"Go deeper. There may be a window we can jump out of!" the odd Octoling said.

And so it was, near the prison was the officer's quarters, with a convenient window hanging right open. With no hesitation, the two jumped out of the window, and booked it for the nearby woods. They ran for what seemed to be hours, until...

"Alright, I think we lost em'" Four said.

As they headed back to Mount Nantai, they made haste. And then, when they reached the campsite...

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Four exclaimed.

"What's wrong with ME? You were the one who set off the program intended to free some Octarian prisoners!" the strange Octarian lady loudly rebutted.

"Well MAYBE if someone told me about it, I would have still had a chance of getting out of this place!" Four angrily said.

"Don't lie. I saw the unconscious guard. Your reckless ass would have been caught anyway." the Octarian snapped.

"Well.. huh, I suppose you have a point." Four loftily said.

"You just jeopardized our escape and tomorrow's rescue mission! You weren't even taking this seriously, Mr. Glazed Eyes. Do you even care about other people, or did you just care about the coupon? It was expired, by the way." The Octoling sharply rebutted as she stormed off with the short inkling.

The faint sound of "Someday his behavior is gonna bite him right in the ass" could be heard from the foot of the summit. This made Four have a little funk for the while.

Four couldn't help this new feeling he was having, but he knew he had to make haste. It was already midnight. The messenger Octarian was probably halfway to the west base which contained the jump point. When he got there, he quickly jumped in a crate, got carried to the jump point, got carried through the jump, got loaded onto a UFO, and, halfway through the flight, got out and jumped off.

* * *

Four shifted into squid form quickly, and hit the ground fast, but not before creating a small pool of ink. He got up, and consulted the map once more.

"Head west fifty miles, and it should be there" Four said to himself.

The trek to Shell city was almost over. Just some desert land until he reached it, Four and everyone else pleaded. However, it soon became apparent what await him not 2 miles east of Shell City. An Octoling force of over 200 soldiers laid camp here.

"Shit. Must be a defensive dugout waiting for that mystery girl." Four said under his breath.

As he planned how to get past a force this size, half of them went back in the direction of the Second Area, while the other half went in the opposite direction.

"Eh, nothing to leave my mind on." Four sighed, as he grabbed his stuff and ran towards Shell City. And, as his his walk of 30...no...1 and a half days came to it's end, as Shell City was finally right in front of Four. Four eagerly knocked on the old green door, and he met a voice, saying:

"Despite only making up 13% of the population.."

"Minorities commit 52% of the crime." Four responded,

The door opened to a gift shop full of sea creature-themed knick knacks, googly eyes, and Elmer's glue. The figure, who seemed to be in a suit meant for underwater activities, indicated by the cans of presumably air on his back,went to the door in the back, and came out of it with a backpack-sized box full of _it._

"Thanks." Four simply said as he handed the man the note.

As he grabbed the box, stepping sounds that could be heard by the entire valley came upon the little shack.


	3. Chapter 3: The End of All Things

The Joker was beginning to worry. He sent Four at least a day ago, and he was supposed to be back by now. He wanted to send King Dedede after him, but he was on another mission securing Dorito provisions for the gang weeding two days from now.

"*sigh* in theory, that kid could have been perfect for the squad." The Joker said

All of a sudden, a loud crash came upon the base. The Joker, surprised anyone could find this place, began to search outside. What he saw devoured his expectation: One Hundred Octoling soldiers right outside the base, guns pointed right at the Gamer HQ.

"Joker, come out now and face our judgement, or we play the hand of Judge, Jury, and Executioner, and storm the HQ."

"How the hell did you even get past our defenses?" The Joker asked.

"Oh please, your paltry defense couldn't hold half of my forces"

"Fine. What are your demands anyway?" The Joker asked.

"Well, now that you ask..."

All of a sudden, a rush of facts and logic swept at least 15 of the soldiers off to their fate, and out of the smoke:Ben Shapiro.

"Well well well. I thought we would meet again...Donald J. Trump!" Ben Shapiro exclaimed at the hooded figure while said figure uncloaked himself.

"Very keen of you to figure that out." Trump snarks as he lowers his cloak."Unfortunately for you, you should have gone for the head."

Ben Shapiro quickly turned to his sides, but it was too little too late. The soldier took a nearby Octobrush and hence fell Ben Shapiro of the Epic Gamer Squad.

* * *

Whence Four woke up, he was in a familiar area, yet was somehow different. He gazed upon the scenic grasslands, the shack figure that was near, and another nearby figure. He was about to yell to the other person to run, until.

*Slap*

"So you're awake. Good. The Boss wants to talk to you." the Octoling soldier sneered.

Four, wanting answers to the situation, obliged. They walked for a minute, coming across a small tent.

"Come in"

"Alright, who the hell are you, where am I, and where is the package?" Four shouted as the hooded figure decloaked himself.

"All of that information will come in due time. For now, however, bring in the other"

Suddenly, the two Octoling soldiers came back with a man in a sack. As they untied him, Four nearly crapped himself to whom it was.

"Listen, Four, don't listen to anything he says, alright? He's a liar, that's what he is!" Joker begged.

"Oh, and why shouldn't he listen? He deserves to hear the truth after all Jokes, don't you say?"

"You filthy little liar! He's not dead! He''s pretending! Pretending!" Joker screamed with all his might.

"You're just grieving. Accept your fate."

Four couldn't quite piece together what was happening. First, there was talk of death, and lies.

"Ben Shapiro is dead, Four."

"Trump you filthy LIAR!" Joker said, as he got his mouth, and rest of his body, shoved into a bag.

Four's thought train finally caught up to his current state. His first thought was:Ben is dead? Why? He thought, by studying the dialogue, he could piece together that Joker was behind something. But then he read closer. The comma was after Jokes. He wasn't referring to the Joker. And there has only been one person in this story to have cracked a joke.

His second thought sickened him so bad he had to gag.

"What's wrong, Four? What's your thought? Please, share. Is it the fact that you know the messenger Octoling should have made it by the time you got into the base? Or was it the knocked out guard who spilled the beans?" Trump gleefully said.

"*ech**ech**ech*." was all Four could muster.

"I think our white friend has figured it out, no?" Trump coldly stated right after releasing Joker and Four of all restraints.

Four could hardly see. He could hardly make out anything apart from Joker's "No,No,No" and the faintest resemblance of "Pack it up, girls!".

* * *

"What the HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Joker screamed as he shoved Four into a wall.

Four couldn't even muster up the capability of speech. Not once has this gut-wrenching feeling overtook him so, and now it was all over his face and mannerisms.

"You cost us Ben! You cost us our base! You cost us our mission!" Joker kept laying on."And to think, I even CONSIDERED offering you a spot on the team..."

That line truly crushed Four more than it already did. It did, however, give him the strength to utter a sound that resembled "stop".

"Stop? Bed DIED. And why? Because you were too careless about the situation, and you can't even face the reality or the responsibility of anything!"

The plain was still dead silent.

"Can't speak, huh? No shit there. You know what? Fine. I'll just mail your share later. Just get the hell out of my sight. I'll go after them myself,if I have to."

Four started to walk South, right before stopping and turning back.

"I said GO!" Joker yelled.

Four dropped off the note and the map, and headed back home.

* * *

The sun was shining, the trees were blooming, the children were playing in the plaza. Or that would be, if there wasn't a stampede of reporters near the café. Trevor went there a whole hour early just to catch two drinks to entice Four to come.

Four on the other hand was home, sulking. Until, of course, Richard came in.

"Alright buddy, i've given you plenty of time to assemble the payment." Richard sternly said.

"Alright, alright. Here." Four quietly said as he handed Richard a letter.

"Hey, buddy, what's wrong? You know, it wouldn't hurt to wait a few more days." Richard said in his most soothing voice.

"No, it's nothing. Here, have your loan money. I tried to get an exact amount of interest. Sorry if it's too much." Four whispered.

"Look, I don't know what's wrong, but all I can say is that you get it figured out, or at least have a shoulder to cry on." Richard wished."Anyway, I have to head to the Café to see if I can catch a glimpse of the hero."

A jolt went through Four's mind at that instant.

"Shit, I completely forgot. I can at least make it to Trevor, of all people." Four thought.

"It was almost time for the interview, but streams upon streams of reporters filled the Café and the plaza. Four dodged them to the best of his ability, however he did get trampled a bit. Once he finally got inside, he found Trevor amidst another forty heads. He made his way there with some quick shifting, and when he got there:

"Sorry I'm late." Four said in a meek voice.

"No, you're just in time." Trevor said."And what's up with your voice? Are you sick? Anyway, sorry about your drink being warm"

Four would have responded, however a mystery figure appeared in the interview desk. Four could swear and eye was on him, but he couldn't tell right now.

"Greetings. My name..."

The mystery inkling took of her mask, revealing herself.

"Is Agent 3 of the Squidbeak Splatoon."

* * *

"What was your reason for taking the Great Zapfish back?"

"Who were your associates?"

"Did you steal the Zapfish initially?"

"Gentlemen,gentlemen." Three said with a stoic tone,"Because the city needs power, they would not prefer to have their identity disclosed, and no."

"However, I would like to say one thing before I answer anymore questions." Three said as she rose her hand."The situation was bleak at the time, and I had no home of making it out. I failed everyone, or so I thought. It was only through the added fortitude of my comrades was I able to prevail against the one who stole our power whose name I shall not utter here. That is all." Three said in the same stoic tone.

Four could have sworn a yellow eye was on him this time, but he sense a slightly warmer presence than what he was used to. Then it all clicked.

* * *

"Listen, Trevor, you need to come with me." Four said in a hurried tone.

"Why?" asked Trevor.

And so Four gave the synopsis of the past day.

"And that's it. So, can you help me bust him out?" Four asked.

"What? Hell no! No two inklings could break through a force of 200!" Trevor angrily responded.

"Alright, look. I have one last idea. Where was the group we played a few days back?" Four desperately asked.

"Over at the lobby. Why? Wait, you can't mean?" Trevor asked.

"Look, just do the talking for me, and they'll hopefully help us." Four snapped.

* * *

"Kiss my ass, Four." Darth_Vader_LikesGreenDay snapped.

"Look, please, we'll..." Trevor started, but Four interrupted him.

"Here." Four said as he gave the ninja cloak to the group.

"Japanese Text!" [Japanese Text] said.

"I cheated, and for that, I apologize." Four said.

Suddenly, another cloak hit the floor.

"[Japanese Text] already noticed your scheme. But you're good, kid. You earned that win." Gandhi said. "And judging by your actions, you are a good one as well, and I will not let one like you be captured."

"Japanese Text." [Japanese Text] fiercely responded.

As Strange came out of the corner, he also put his cloak into the pile.

"Fuck it. I hate life anyway." Darth_Vader_LikesGreenDay responded.

"Then it is settled. We all have an hour, then we must assemble near the entrance to Octo Valley. The one that leads directly to the shack." Gandhi stated.

* * *

The group ran past the cabin at incredible speed, and reached the hill.

"Make haste, comrades! Don't let them make it to the Second Area!" Trevor yelled.

When the group reached the force, they lay low for a few minutes to discuss the plan. After a few minutes, it was agreed that Four and Strange would get the snipers while the rest covered them.

"On the count of 3, we ride to certain capture." Gandhi yelled.

1.

2.

3.

* * *

The Octolings were running East, and were completely dumbfounded when, for some reason, 25 of them were suddenly missing.

"YOU FOOLS! THEY'RE HERE!" Trump yelled to the top of his lungs.

"Form rank!" the masses yelled.

But it was all too late. Four and Strange made it. And suddenly the Octoling Snipers could hear, "right behind you". And for some reason, they were at the respawn point the next moment. 35 down, 165 to go.

Unfortunately, the group were surrounded before they even took a fourth of the group down.

"Damn. We're cornered!" Trevor said.

The sound of clapping came ever so closer to the circle of inklings, until...

"Your efforts were quite amendable, Four and Co." Trump said with the biggest grin on his face. "However, there is no situation here where you are not slain, either by me or my new captive."

"Alone, Four of the Inkling race stands."

"Not alone."

Suddenly, loud drums echoed through the valley enough to shock all the pigeons to early migration.

"The Epic Gamer Squad!" Trump yelled. "Kill them NOW!"

The Octolings would have turned around, if not for the fact that another 25 of them were oddly at the respawn point.

"Fools! Focus the Inklings!" A few yelled.

However, by the time that came, the gamers were already on the horde, and the sandwiched forces were quickly taken out, which was also the front line.

The rest of the forces quickly fell because of this, and they proceeded to retreat back into the plains. There was only one problem now...

"Trump...Let him go." Four said with a cold look in his eye.

"Alright... Have him." Trump said in a stoic tone. "However, know this: I shall return."

"Don't let him get away!" Trevor yelled.

Dedede went for his hand, however it was too little too late. Trump vanished, however not before leaving a curious blue stone.

"Get Joker, we must." Yoda stated.

They untied Joker from his sack, whom was asleep at the time, but fooled everyone at the start with many a "If I could have just".

* * *

By the time it was nightfall, the group made it back to Inkopolis. The familiar lights led them towards the center, where they said their goodbyes.

"It has been an honor fighting with inklings as cunning as you." Gandhi said, as he bowed.

And so the group became a duo all through the night, until...

"This is the old fork in the road." Trevor said. "I suppose this is where I say goodbye."

Trevor headed back home. Four, on the other hand, went back towards the city.

* * *

"Look Spyke, I know it's you." Four said.

But it was not the usual "love" he expected.

"Hello, young Inkling."

"Ah, Yoda." Four sighed in somewhat relief. "How's Joker?"

"Ok, he is. Locked in his room, he is. Heading to the funeral, he will most likely not." Yoda responded.

"Oh god. How are you still calm?" Four asked.

"Moved on, I have. Saddened, I still may be, however angry, I am not." Yoda rebutted. "Good services to all of Inkopolis and gamers, you have."

"But what business do you have here? My Gary-Stu eyes see all, after all." Four asked.

"Deserve this, you do." Yoda said, giving Four a package. "Bound by fate, we all are now."

"Thank you." Four said.

* * *

The sun was shining, the Trees were blooming, the children were playing in the plaza. And, for once, Four felt like it. He got up out of bed, headed to the Café, and bought Trevor a nice latte.

*EEEEEEE*

"Why are you up so early, and how do you know where I live?" Trevor asked.

"No time to explain. Gather up the guys." Four answered.

And in no time flat the house was filled up with the Team.

Once the house was finally full, Four handed a packet and a glass container to each of the Inklings in the room.

"To GangWeed." Four stated with pride.

"To GangWeed." everyone else repeated.

"I appreciate the gesture, Four, but why is the blue stone in your pocket?" Gandhi asked.

"Some things never change." Four rebutted.

And so, with the clink of glass and the sound of ruffled plastic baggies, the day began.

It was truly and Epic Gamer Moment.


	4. Chapter 4:Out of Time, Out of Mind

"Inkopolis...Gamer Squad...Four...Inkopolis...Gamer Squad...Four...Ink-"

"Hey kid. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the Westfold Bank, weren't you? Unfortunately, our kind does not mix well with water."

"I can't see. Who are you?"

"You tell me your name, ink master, and I will tell you mine."

"I can't recall...What happened here?"

"I found your spirit unconscious near the Riverbank, so I used what was left of this portable respawn point..."

"I apologize for being a liability"

"No need, sir. Anyways, I heard your inane babbling while you were unconscious, and since Inkopolis is most likely a city, and the Gamer Squad is an association, your name must be Four, no?

"Yes, that I can at least remember."

"Well, for the information of your name, I exchange you with mine. My name is Ranger."

"Thanks for that. So, any plans?"

Now that you ask, we must hurry back to my shelter. The lizards will be here shortly. We will discuss the latter details of your arrival there."

* * *

Four with his buzzy mind could barely stand up, and so Ranger quickly helped him to his feet. When the buzz subsided, he found himself in a stone filled Riverbank surrounded by the sounds of lushest forest green Four had ever seen.

"We make for the Eastern road, then cut the walk not one step after 2 kilometers." Ranger said as he was filling a canister with water, being careful not to touch it.

Once he got up, he slowly pointed to the Eastern road: a clearing in the thick Forest Green shade. The two began pacing their steps, and before long, had made it to the road.

The road was not as stretched as Four originally thought, faring only what seemed to be the 2 kilometers. However, what he did notice was the stones digging deep into his shoes, which, on closer inspection, seemed to be made for short bursts of sport, and not for long treks like this. He tried to use all of this information to pinpoint where he was, but when he thought of where he was relative to this "Inkopolis", he just got some hypertension and slight burning of the thigh, so he quickly dismissed the thought.

And out popped what looked to be a small lizard, which broke Four out of his train of thought.

"Calm yourself, lad. That is not a threat, but a warning, for the bigger lizards make their way here, but we will quickly outpace them." Ranger calmly assured.

As the road went on, Four questioned why they seemed like they had not moved. It was all green forestry after green forestry. The only thing that differentiated, and assured Four that they had made progress, was the darker green tree not a few steps behind.

"Oh, that? That is the tree I slathered lizard blood, so that I may attract some bigger game and bigger meats on my way for cooking water." Ranger replied.

All of a sudden, the ending of the road was finally showing itself to Four's eyes. What was beyond that seemed to be some greener grasslands, however he did see a flowerless hill that he thought he could gaze the surrounding. And so Four broke into a sprint past Trevor and the forest green trees to the hill.

What he could see dumbfounded him: giant lizards three times the size of any tree in the previous forest reared their multi-colored (but mostly brown or green) heads around these parts. What could this mean? Four strayed his eyes from the hulking beasts and could not see more than grassier grassland, save for the mountain he estimated was 25 beasts away.

"I see you've found our retreat, now head to the other side and find the door." Ranger yelled.

And so, doing what Ranger told, rolled down the hill, and curiously, found a small, brown wood door on the very bottom. As he opened it, he was greeted with many shades of color: particularly brown, dark brown, brownwood brown, and white for the walls, but yes, mostly brownwood was used here. Four quickly crawled into the tiny hole made by the door, and immediately thought the place could use some furniture and some spacing. All it was was a mere circle, or cylinder, as judged from the height of the roof and, well, the fact that they're in a 3d space.

"Sorry it ain't much. The bathroom's to the left, and the kitchen is up from there. I have two beds next to each other, just incase you can't see." Ranger said from behind." But never mind that. Let's talk."

* * *

"So, have you recalled anything on our little trip?" Ranger asked.

"No. whenever I try, I simply get some hypertension and thigh pain." Four said, after immediately realizing that it was because something was in his pockets.

"Nibba what the hell is in your pocket." Ranger rebutted as he slapped Four for being an idiot.

Four reached deep into his right pocket, and out came a dark blue stone.

"Well, that explains a lot." Ranger said. "That seems to be a Hearthstone."

"Well, how does this relate to the situation i'm in?" Four asked.

"For starters, a Hearthstone allows one to travel through various times and universes." Ranger responded. "And that confirms my suspicions about you."

"What suspicions?" Four confusingly asked.

"Suspicions that you're from another dimension." Ranger said. "Your atomic reformation in the respawn point was something I had never seen prior in this dimension, and only people from another dimension have different types of atomic model. Judging from your body's slightly higher matter count, you're from a dimension owned by the God of Reality, so we're in a tight spot."

"Why are we in a tight spot if this Reality God rules over the dimension I originate in?" Four asked.

"First off, the Reality God is, well, the one who created reality. Now, there are 6 gods of Time, Space, Power(which is just energy and force), Reality, Mind, and Soul, which, of course, has no correlation to anything(why do you ask?). Naturally, these gods are above the concept of dimension altogether, however, they have sent branches of themselves here to govern their creations." Ranger responded. "There are 6 universes at the center of the multiverse, origin points, if you will. Every time a Schrödinger's Cat situation happens, the universe generates another one of itself in which the outcome was different. Meaning, there are 6 histories, and all others are what if scenarios."

"But what does this have to do with the situation?" Four asked in a hurried tone.

"Just wait. It will come up soon." Ranger snapped. "Anyway, as this is the case, meddling and going to other universes could cause a chain reaction that could cause universes to collide in the Emptiness of the Multiverse, so it is forbidden. Many rare artifacts, such as the Hearthstones, were used by Universe Pirates to traverse the Multiverse. The difference between your Hearthstone and others is that it was made to travel through time, which is also forbidden, so it may cause adverse effects, such as memory loss, and can only transport the user into universes with Power Springs, the water used to recharge the Hearthstone, and may cure your memory loss."

"So find the spring here, and go home?" Four asked.

"Not exactly. See, the Hearthstone only goes to the nearest universe with a power spring, or should I say is required to fill up on energy. Power springs may only also gather some memory, so don't expect all of your memory back soon." Ranger said. "Going back to the topic of the Reality God, if there is a society of Inklings, our kind, then that means you're walking in near the territory of where the branch of the Reality God resides. He's both one of the best fighters, with his unmatched ability to warp the fabric of reality itself, and the one branch with the most connections."

"So exposition aside, your quest is simply to get to many springs, regaining your memory along the way, all while avoiding the branch of the Reality God." Ranger summed up.

"How do you know so much about this topic?" Four asked.

"Because, a lifetime ago, I was a Universe Pirate myself, unable to be detected even directly in the origin universes, the one where the Reality branch resides, until I was, so I pawned off my Hearthstone to a cloaked man with Yellow hair in exchange for help hiding myself in this universe, a universe in the Time God's territory, who is the concept of time itself, so he could not make any branches." Ranger said. "But enough about me, we head off to bed soon, for in the morning we head off to the mountain spring, and say our farewells."

* * *

The sun was shining, the trees were blooming, the lizards were roaming the grasslands. Of course, this was coming in 5 hours.

"Wake up." Ranger said. "Dawn will rise in 5 hours, and that's when the lizards wake up too. Our only hope of making it to the spring is to go now."

Four stayed asleep, so Ranger did the only logical thing and...

*Slap*

"Okay, okay, I'm up." Four retorted.

"We ride west, then take a sharp turn east from there. Climb the mountain, and we'll be there." Ranger said.

Four quickly grabbed his things, and by that I mean his pants and his will, and sluggishly made for the green fuzz.

The moonlight quickly enhanced Four's gaze, and out he saw the hulking beasts laying down and enjoying their naptime.

"If you're done staring, you can begin to head West." Trevor said. "Hug the line of trees. It's good to be near a hiding spot."

And so the duo embarked on their way, through hill and treetop, up the finest mountains...until...

"Well here it is." Ranger said. "Four meters from my house."

"Technically, we've fulfilled the description requirements." Four retorted." I climbed the hill that is your house, climbed through a treetop, and there's this hill that's bigger and steeper than your own, so I can call it a mountain."

"Yeah, shut up. Just wait for me to go up there, then we'll go through the forests." Ranger sighed.

Once Ranger met Four on top of the "mountain", the two actually began walking.

"The road doesn't change up much ahead." Four said. "Mind telling me some more exposition?"

"I've told you all that you need to know." Ranger responded. "Although, I was not fully finished with my Tl;DR."

"So, spill the beans." Four snapped.

"The reason I treated you with such hospitality and with exposition like that is this: I wish to make an exchange that you cannot back off of now." Ranger rebutted.

"What's the exchange, sir?" Four rerebutted.

"I will give you exposition on what you need to do, and in exchange, you take me somewhere away from here." Ranger responded.

"First of all, I could just leave you here, but i'm not." Four snarked.

"Look, I'm desperate, Ok?" Ranger said. "Take it as more of a request than an exchange if it gives you peace of mind and gets me the hell away from the branch's grasp."

"Fair enough." Four said.

* * *

The grass was growing greener, but it was also killing Four's feet. The bushes here were as thorny as the blade Ranger carried to cut them, not to mention the trees that obstructed the view more and more as the duo headed deeper into the jungle.

"Watch yourself." Ranger warned."One small step in a puddle and it's kaput."

The green "roads" and the small lizards were the only indication of where the two were going. Four could swear the noise of a giant one was coming, but when asked to Ranger, he dismissed it as a natural occurrence.

"The big, carnivorous lizards like to yawn about." Ranger responded.

This was all thankfully true, at least for the time being. More berry bushes (that Four may or may not have gotten some poisoning by), trees that grew ever greener the deeper they got in, and nibbling lizards ran amok the deeper parts of the forest.

"So that's when I said, despite making up 13% of the population..." Four started.

He said similar things over the hour long trek, until suddenly, and to Ranger's approval:

"Shut the hell up and move East in two hours." Ranger snapped with a hint of anger.

Thankfully, the duo reached a clearing, much to Four's approval. That was when, a sudden running of small lizards to the left right after another screech came about.

"Ok, I'm not sure that was a yawn." Four said.

"Well shit, you're right." Ranger snapped quickly."Pick up the pace, but keep to the road. If we take the shortcut, we'll end up in the super poison berry fields."

"I say objection." Four retorted."Assurance of death is much worse than a chance of it."

"Listen, it's too risky." Ranger said."And plus, the lizard shouldn't notice us if we're fast enough."

And so it was: the two continued their trek towards the point, growing amounts of lizards and grass as you do. Until the roar came up again, accompanied with the running of smaller, and a medium sized one the size of Four, much to his dismay. Now, normally, Ranger would just tell him to shut the hell up, but the screech came again, and more lizards, specifically bigger ones, ran. The duo went into a sprint, and then into a run. But, of course, it wasn't enough.

"BIG BARNEY!" Ranger screamed."RUN FOR IT!"

Knees were weak, arms were heavy as the giant barney dinosaur chased the duo past tree, bush, and lizard tail.

"We can't make it!" Ranger said."It's gaining on us."

Just then, Four remembered something, as he grabbed Ranger's shoulder and took a sharp 45 degree turn into the forest.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ranger said, but quickly shut his mouth as they went deeper into the Forest, and the sounds of "I Love You, You Love Me" became quieter and quieter.

"Great, you avoided a slow and painful death for a slow and painful death." Ranger said, as Four kept his eyes on the road ahead.

"Do you have anything that can start a fire?" Four asked.

"Look, even if you burn the entire forest down, the Barney will notice us, and we'll be back to square one." Ranger snapped.

"That's not what I meant." Four said.

"Alright, look, I have a lighter, but I have doubts that you're fast enough to do this." Ranger responded.

And so the duo ran. They ran for what seemed to be 5 minutes, but was actually 30. Ran past field, lizard corpse, more lizard corpse, until.

"We made it to the bottom of the mountain." Ranger said."Now hurry the hell up and use the lighter."

Four quickly busted open the cap, lighted the lighter as quick as he could, found the nearest pore full of poison, and lit that shit on fire hotter than, well, not that hot actually, more like boiling temperature, yeah. And soon, the many boils and rashes on Four's lower bods subsided along with some skin.

"Eh, that'll cure in time." Four said.

"Would you shut up and give me the lighter?" Ranger responded.

And with that, the two were finally at the base of the mountain.

"Alright, how do we climb the thing?" Four started.

"Climb? No, it's in the cave to the left. How do you think a spring on a cold mountain would work?" Ranger rebutted.

And so the two, finally on the snowy stripes of the mountain base, headed to the jagged opening to their near right.

"Y'know, that lighter stunt was complete bullshit." Ranger nagged."That's not how poison works."

"And why not? I burned the rashes off, and it didn't spread to my lungs or other vital organs." Four rebutted.

"It should have burned off and made the fumes cause rash and kill you." Ranger rerebutted.

"Who cares." Four stated."Looks like we're here."

And so it was. The jagged stalactites reflected the beautiful navy blue that covered the entire cave. And, at it's heart, a spring, covered in light blue stone with etched marks on it that Four could only describe as "Cantonese".

"Well, this is it." Ranger said."But before you go, have this."

"What is it?" Four asked, taking the brown horn like wooden object.

"A pipe." Ranger responded, while handing the lighter and some greens in a bag Four was all too familiar with.

"Thanks, I suppose." Four responded.

"Ti's a curse, not a blessing." Ranger grimly said."You must realize, if you go and use that hearthstone, the Branch has a guaranteed chance of finding you."

"So you've sent me to my death by association." Four snarked.

"There is one way to salvage the situation, and hopefully save us both." Ranger grimly said."You must take the name Ranger for the time being, take the pipe as proof, and shed the name as soon as you get home. That way, I may leave and never be tracked, and you may get home without anyone knowing of this adventure."

Four looked at him with a face that could only be described as fearful as he dipped the corner of the hearthstone into the water. All of a sudden, a blinding blue light overcame Four's eyes as he slipped away into unconsciousness for one second, in the next, he would rise back up.

"What did you see?" Ranger quickly responded.

"My birth to a specific day in which I encountered the Gamer League." Four said.

"Then what happens beyond that must hold some importance as to why you're here." Ranger said."Anyways, I suppose this is goodbye."

"I suppose so." Four said back.

"Remember:Don't use your name, and don't trust anyone." Ranger responded."Anyway, can you remember the layout of your specific inkopolis?"

"A giant town with a greenish yellow tower, next to a cafe, a manhole, the shopping district, and the Arcade place." Four said."The road down should lead to the apartment complexes, and beyond that is a path to Octo Valley, some Mountains, and uncharted regions of land."

"Oh shit." Ranger responded.

"What's your reason?" Four rebutted.

"I've been there before. In fact, that's where I was born: One of the six origin universes, the one where the Reality Branch resides." Ranger said as the color of his face washed out.

"Well, it's too late for anything now." Four said.

"You're right. All I can hope is for you not to die." Ranger stated."Anyway, that should be two universes away. Swipe up on the hearthstone, and we should be set."

And he did. All of a sudden, a blue screen popped up, showcasing a variety of multi-colored spheres. Four browsed around until he reached what could be deemed as the center. Four went back to the universe he was in, and plotted his path. Ranger did the same.

"This is it." Ranger said."Arrivederci, and may God have mercy on your soul."

And with that, the two confirmed their courses, and black overtook their vision.


	5. Chapter 5: The Outsider

"Inkopolis...Gamers...Four..."

What haunted Four yet so were not whispers this time, but visions. He could see mere glimpses into the second chapter in his adventure. A cloaked figure, the weed, the crew, the situation in the mountain, but none more. He decided that dillydallying around wasn't going to help him, so he looked towards any higher ground. Luckily, he seemed to be in another forest with substantially bigger trees, specifically the one right next to it. And as such, he analyzed the dark brown spruce in front of him, and found some branches he could climb up on. With swift movement, along with some crafty transformation, Four quickly made it up the hulking goliath.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Four said, noticing the pool of water and the all too familiar stones with the accompanying Cantonese on them right next to the tree he was on.

As Four slid down the tree, he busted out the Hearthstone, and made for the nearby Spring, when all of a sudden...

*Slap*

"Goddammit not again." Four exclaimed as the whirring orange fist fell flat on his face.

* * *

"Wake the hell up."

*Slap*

"Ok, ok. I'm up." Four yelled. "You know, it's known as common decency to reveal yourself in a conversation. Or do the customs of my universe translate poorly here?"

"I know." The figure said as he rose from the shadow, raising his cloaked head from it's providence."Perhaps you don't recall me, Donald Trump?"

"No, I do not recall that name." Four retorted.'Were we friends or enemies in a previous life?"

"I shall lead you to decide that when the dawn rises on the new day." Trump responded."For now, sleep, for we have a dance with the Branch tomorrow."

"Can you at least debrief me on where we are now?" Four extorted.

"You are fortunate you ended up here." Trump said."Tell me, do you know why Universe Travel is outlawed?"

"Because it would cause alternate universes to crash into each other?" Four answered.

"Well yes, but not really." Trump rebutted."If that were the case, Universe Pirates would avoid causing any damaging business, and all would be forgiven. There is a reason why unlawful Universe creation is what it is. Because the way lawful universes do not crash into each other is because the Empty areas of the multiverses aren't as empty as some say they are. They are held together with Molontonari, and when a new universe is created, yes, they can crash into each other, but that would require 3 or more universes to crash into each other just to touch an official universe. No, what happens when one is created, Molontonari crashes into the universe, but only enough to create an artifact or two. Molontonari is the most highly sought after material in the multiverse, wars have been fought by factions and subfactions for it. It was not until very recently, some 1 billion years, when the Branches descended in slow succession, that order was brought into the warring universes. And for good reason too, these are some of the most powerful artifacts in all the multiverse. That is all."

"So how does this have any impact on the current situation?" Four snapped.

"One of the artifacts, known as the m1911 Pistol, resides near here. You must claim it for your own and slay the Branch." Trump said. "I will look ahead, you must get it now, and be ready tomorrow."

And so they did. Trump headed out toward the entrance of the cave, whilst Four headed deeper into it.

* * *

"Fuck, I can't see." Four shouted.

"You've been walking for less than a minute! The artifact isn't even hard to spot!" Trump retorted.

Four realized what he had to do. He busted out the hearthstone and it brought out some light. The blue walls led him to his destination not five seconds after.

And there it was, the legendary artifact shaped like a pistol. Four grabbed it quickly, observing the thing as cautiously as possible. He noticed an opening in the handle of the gun, and, seeing as there was a rectangle full of what looked to be ammo, he filled it with said object, and made his way back to the entrance, which he was pretty much already near.

"Trump, I got it."Four said."What now?"

"Take it for a spin." Trump responded.

And so Four did, as he pointed the barrel to the opposite of the cave, he fired. As the shockwave of the force knocked Trump back, as the mountain eroded around him, he strangely felt nothing around him. And with that, the entire cave was soon destroyed, along with the entire mountain it was in.

"Damn." Trump said in awe.

"What happens now?" Four asked.

"Now?" Trump responded."Now, we make our plan."

* * *

Four could hardly hear the conversation happening around him. All he knew was the Sun poking only one part of his face, the sound of the wind, and the grass, or so he thought, was poking his sides. Even with the multiple ties in and around his face and body, he knew what was coming next.

He was back in the forest.

"I got Ranger, just like you asked."

"Very good, now give me the proof."

Four could hear the passing of something, and with that quickly untied himself, and kicked up as hard as he could. He could hear the flying pipe, and grabbed it as he landed, taking off his the sack on his face in the process.

What he saw next, he could not describe. A being, with similar anatomy, yet different, stood. He couldn't even tell the difference, as he was too hidden in his black spiked and striped armor.

With absolutely no hesitation, he whipped out the pistol, and pulled the trigger. The brilliant swirl of air as the bullet crossed out of the barrel traveled, eradicating everything in it's path. Until it no longer did.

"Trump." The man said in a hoarse voice."What is the meaning of this insolence?"

"It wasn't me, I swear!" Trump said, scared for his life.

"Fair enough." the Figure said."Take your portal and leave."

And so, Trump ran as hard as he could towards the opposite direction, and for a split second, a blue ring appeared, and both figures were no more.

"If you're wondering, that was a one-way portal." the Figure said as he turned around."I have the odd feeling you were waiting for the Reality Branch, weren't you? It seems that we have not met yet, Ranger, seeing as the Reality Branch is currently under stasis. I am the Space Branch."

"Reality, Space, it doesn't matter. What the hell was that?" Four said.

"Did your plan not go according to your merits?" the Branch asked. "Don't fret. Trump will die, if not by the Branches, it will be by his own hubris. But enough about me and him. What about you? How did you hope to defeat me, the will of the Creator of Space?"

"I dunno." Four responded. "Like this?"

Before either party had a time to quip, Four fired twice in the Branch's general direction, but both quickly vanished.

"Did I not tell you, fool, that I am the God of All Space?" the Branch snarked."What hope do you, a mere mortal with an artifact you hardly know how to use, against a being of such stature and power as I? Harken!"

While the Branch began to monologue, Four tried to look around and see where he even was. And so it was: the Spring was tantalizingly close to his back. And so, he simply ran away. The branch did nothing except keep monologuing, so Four quickly gained distance. Until he didn't.

"Ok, what the hell was that?" Four asked to the looming figure centimeters behind him.

"I merely erased all of the space between you and I, fool." the Branch responded."What about me being the God of Space does not click, foo..."

Before he could even finish, Four ran again. And again. And again. And again.

"This no longer an honorable exchange." the Branch said. "What are you even doing?"

"Distracting you, ya big turd blossom!" Four shouted.

"Wha..."

But it was already too late. The spring was too close. Four shot his gun as many times as he could as he dipped the Hearthstone into the pool. Of course, the Branch dismissed the shots with a slight of his hand. But a slight second too late, as the figure that was once over the Branch's shoulder disappeared.

* * *

"Aahhh! Ewww. What the hell is this stuff?"

"Ink, you idiot. What the hell kind of reaction is posing like a stripper?"

"I dunno, the kind of guy who'll distract you while the soldiers get away?"

"Well Damn, that was a good trick."

"Towards Inkopolis, Shit for brains."

"What the fuck does that even mean you moron?"

"It means...A...N"

* * *

It was a beautiful day outside. Trees were blooming, kids were playing. On days like this, people like you...Should be drinking water. Seriously, I am concerned for you.

"Ugh, where the hell am I?" Four exclaimed."Some sort of yellow hall? Whatever, if my theory stands correct, the spring should be near here."

And so Four moved forward into the hall, sun gleaming and all, unusual pillars and a box near the exit, and then...

"So, you finally made it."

"Who the hell is that?" Four retorted.

"The end of your journey is at hand." the mysterious voice reported.

"Uh, yeah, so?" Four retorted, louder."Why the hell do you care?"

"In a few moments you will...Wait." the mysterious voice said."These aren't the right lines. Who even are you."

"That's what i'm here to find out." Four retorted."I'm Fo... Ranger. I come from a universe near here."

"Whatever, judgement time." the Voice responded revealing himself to be none other than...

"Sans Undertale?" Four ejaculated." Are you fuckin' kidding me?"

"Hey kid, you look bored." Sans said, dismissing Four's dismay.

"Uhh yeah, just tell me where the Spring is?" Four snapped.

"Look, just shut up while I judge you, alright?" Sans retorted."Anyway, over level 14? Seems like you're a pretty bad person, huh? What's more embarrassing than this? You're nowhere near as bad as you could be. You basically suck at being evil. You can't seem to decide whether you want to do the right thing or preserve yourself. But here's an idea: maybe try the former extreme? That would be real nice for everyone, kiddo."

"Fine." Four responded."Anyway, can you please tell me where the stupid fountain is?"

"Oh, it's over there." Sans said while pointing to the door behind him."But listen kiddo, could you at least state your business here?"

"As said before, I am Ranger, and I want to get to the Origin universe near here." Four responded."I come from there, and must return from my business."

"Hehehe, a Universe Pirate, huh?" Sans responded."Haven't seen those in quite a while. Anyway, aren't you, like, illegal?"

"Yeah, but the Branch should look for me in another universe." Four responded.

"Cool." Sans said.

Four took this as the cue to just leave, but then he was teleported back to the entrance.

"Whoa kiddo, I can't just let you leave." Sans responded."Come and talk a while."

"Fine." Four retorted."What do you wanna tell me?"

"Here's for one: Out of all the universes you could have went to, you chose bad, buddy." Sans responded."You just ran yourself into a genocide route."

"At least it isn't one of those cringeworthy AU's or straight up porn." Four said.

"Fair enough, but that doesn't take away the fact that we're both in danger, aren't we?" Sans snapped."Me and my brother, Papyrus, are going to die, and this universe will be destroyed, reworked, and corrupted."

"And what would you like me to do about it?" Four snarkily said."Take you both with me?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." Sans said.

"I could if it were just you, but there is no way i'm going to get your brother." Four snarked."But, if you were to get him, then I could work out something."

'Well, that saves us some time." Sans said."I can get Papyrus. The only thing you'll have to do is input a dummy Papyrus and Sans into the code."

"And how to I do that?" Four responded with even more snark.

"Go to my house, and go to the lab behind it." Sans responded with more snark than that."There should be a machine there. From there, use your Molontonari artifact, break part of the window, go into the code, and input it there."

"And why would I help you?" Four asked.

"You really don't have a choice here, kiddo." Sans responded with a blue glare in his eye.

Four sighed, brought out his pipe, put the greens into the horn, lit it with the lighter, put it in his mouth, took a big huff of smoke, and responded with:

"Fine."

* * *

Four grabbed his stuff, and headed out into the hallway after Sans gave him the key to the lab. Four did not like wasting time this hour, so he sprinted through all of the seemingly strange looking house, and reached an elevator. Thankfully, Sans did not give without direction, so Four punched in the lowest floor, and ran through the Hotlands, for about 5 minutes.

"Too Hot...Can't breathe." Four gasped.

His lifeline grew thinner by the minute, he could feel his ink sacs boiling, his vision grew blurry. What he could make out of the surroundings was red rock and lava. His thought process ceased, and in it's place an unwavering instinct of panic. He was ready to accept his fate, but then he remembered something.

The pistol.

Four thoughts came back to him, and he had an idea, albiet one that will most likely get him killed, but, hey, he had nothing else to lose, so Four grabbed the pistol, a rock that scorched his hand faster than, well, we'll save that for later. He took the rock, inserted it into the trigger hole, still holding it, covered himself with the other as best he could, and then...

*Bang*

Four could feel the gun very nearly pierce through him, but his resolve held firm, as he grasped the handle with all he could. He was shot past lakes of lava, rocks, a kitchen, for some weird reason, a white brick looking building with cameras plastered on every corner, past a seemingly innocuous water cooler, and then, to a nice, cool, cave.

"HeHeHeHeHe." Four giggled to himself as he limped forward.

Four continued to walk down a narrow strip of land that lead out a mountain, then to a bridge over some water, and then to a pitch black field. He then proceeded to trip over something.

"Yeeoowww." Four thought to himself. But nothing could prepare him for what came next.

A small, cat like creature appeared before him, all to be eclipsed once again.

"H0i, i'm tEMMIE." the creature responded."HELp PAY For COOLLEG?"

Four was going to tell the chimera cat thing to fuck off, but then again, he did need a guide, so Four dug through his pockets, and came out with a piece of gold and some cannibis. Immediately after throwing the stuff at the creature, he asked...

"What is the way out of here? And where can I go to reach Sans' house?"

The creature did not respond in speech, however, what it did do was stretch it's leg in a manner Four could only describe as 'Fuckin' disturbing' over the floor, seemingly outlining a path. Four followed the leg through field of blue grass, through cave, until he stumbled upon a cloaked man in a raft. The leg swiftly receded. Four hopped on to the raft, and they set off.

Once they neared their destination, Four got hit with a sudden chill. It was a snowy area that they landed in, encased in trees. When they came upon a clearing, the raft stopped. Four got off, and went on his merry way. At least, for about 5 seconds.

* * *

When Four got out of the forest and into the road, which took about 5 seconds, he immediately stepped on some dust.

"Eh. It's not gonna stain." Four thought to himself.

Four saw what seemed to be a town in the distance to his left, so he started there. Until, of course, he didn't.

*Monster Death Sound*

Four was absent-mindedly looking around the route, when he unexpectedly bumped into a short, striped shirted monster covered in the same dust Four's shoe was encased in now.

"So, you're this genocidal maniac everyone's talking about, huh?" Four exclaimed."Little bit on the runty side, but I don't really care."

Four was, of course, messing with the thing, but in his mind, he could tell the evil presence this being emitted. The pure, unadulterated cruelty and desire for blood. Four secretly hoped this...this...thing would not open it's mouth. It's vile demeanor and aura was enough to send one who had been to the pits of hell and back shudder in fear. What sick, twisted, vile actions could this being emit from not only it's mouth, but it's hands. Four braced for this possibility as soon as the vile creature opened it's jaw, bleeding steam visible to the blind man came from this creature, as it said.

"Aw come on! I can't get into any more encounters. My mom said I have to go to bed really soon!"

"Wha..What?" Four blurted out in pure astonishment.

"Weird, I didn't see anything about this monster in JackSepticEye's let's play."

Four got himself back from his immediate bewilderment, and, as you do, drew his gun.

"Wait, no, please, I haven't saved since the Ruins, and my Mom says I can't use the computer for a while!"

Four, of course, didn't hesitate to pull the trigger, and saw as the child eroded around him. After this, Four made no expense in time when heading to the town, albiet with many "Frickin' Frick! This game sux! I'm going back to MLG FNAF!"

When Four got to the town, he came across none other than...

"Hey kiddo. Good job on handling the kid back there. Anyway, my house is the farthest north. Use the key I gave you, and go behind the house. The proxies should be in one of the drawers." Sans said.

Before Four could ask how he got here, Sans took off. Four shrugged it, ran past the giant christmas tree, the many houses, and the Bar, and made it to Sans' place, evident by the massive amount of mail. Four headed to the back room, opened the nonexistent door, and proceeded to come to a lab of sorts, with a purple flooring and some white walling. Four saw many curious things in the drawers, like pictures, schematics, drawings, and...

"Bingo." thought Four.

Bearing no hesitation, Four brought out his trusty pistol. After some examination and thought, Four took out the clip he put in earlier, to see all but one bullet remained. Shrugging the thought off, Four aimed for a wall, then fired, as per Sans' instruction. Four waited for the evaporation of the room to begin, but none was there. Instead, a hole leading to a blue area appeared. Four stepped into the hole, and came into a rectangular room, in which he could hardly stretch both of his arms in. To his left, there were many icons, like four squares, or, what he was tasked to look for, a folder. To his right, a wall of blue. To his back, a massive rectangle, or that's what Four saw, at least. Garnering a shrug, Four leaped into the folder icon.

He was spat out on a room similar to the previous, but with a white wall instead of the blue to his right, and he seemed to be a bit elevated from his previous position. What's more, there were now many folder icons, now with different labels. Four browsed through them all until he found...

"App data. Perfect." Four muttered, throwing the devices he got into the folder labeled as such. After this, he dug through his pockets, found a rock, and continued browsing, until he found a red X right above him. Four threw the rock with all he could, and with a plop, he was back down to the blue room. He turned around, and went back from whence he came.

When he got back to the lab Four hurried out of there, and into the road once more. Four could swear he could see a skeleton clad in red and blue outside the house, but his eyes failed him, until...

"Yep, that's the proxy." Sans said."Y'know, my brother actually doesn't look like that. He's more lanky, more into purple, and actually named Waluigi."

"I don't care. Get me the hell out of here." Four snapped.

"Ok,ok." Sans replied."Come with me, I know a shortcut."

And so the duo made their way north. But instead of getting to a second section of house, they came back into the hall.

"Welp, kiddo, you may pass." Sans said.

Four spared no expense in running past him.

"Don't go to the left." Sans yelled."That's where the King lives."

Four took note of this, shifted to the right, and finally found it: a dull, gray room containing one of the fountains. Four took the Hearthstone, dipped it in with eagerness, and fainted for a few seconds. When he awoke, he finally remembered everything: the adventure for gang weed, the smoking, and the battle. He selected the dimension, and was ecstatic to find it, in bold outline, a bigger, redder, universe than the rest, the prime reality universe.

"Welp, since we have nowhere to go, can we crash at your universe?" Sans asked.

"Waluigi time." Waluigi said from behind.

And so it was. Four nodded, and the three of them grabbed hold. Sans and Waluigi selected the same things Four did, and in an instant, went unconscious.

* * *

"Take this you unlucky bastard!"

"Look man, I don't quite know who you are, but can you just back away from the stone?"

"What? No! I didn't come this far to be stopped by a number, and the unluckiest one, at that."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why the fu... Ok why is the stone glowing?"

* * *

When Four and the gang awoke, they were greeted by the blooming of trees, the singing of the birds, and the children playing in the square. And with that notion, Four already knew.

He was home free.


	6. Chapter 6: Another Destiny

"So, this is your world, huh." Sans said."I'm kinda underwhelmed at the sight. I'm out."

And so Sans and Waluigi teleported off to the distance. As for Four, however...

"Huh. Didn't think about this." Four said to himself."Now, if I were a more strategic squid, where would I be right now? Well, I guess still here. There's no real reason to... And i'm going to stop that train of thought now."

Four sat silent and looked around for a while. He could deduce he was on another mountain, and that he was an idiot for not realizing it earlier. He quickly made out a blurry city with a tower, and decided to head out immediately. Until he remembered...

"Oh yeah. Super Jump." Four whispered to himself.

Four shifted into squid form, pointed himself to the city, and, when he was ready, leaped for it. After flying through the most barren wasteland anyone has seen, he stuck the landing about as well as you would think.

"Welp, not my best moment." Four said as his body burst into a pile of ink.

* * *

When Four awoke, he found himself in a white room, somewhat submerged into a respawn point. The place was clad in shelves and medical tools.

"Well good, you're awake." the mystery inkling said."Who are you?"

"Ra-...Four." Four responded.

"Oh. Joseph Four." the mystery inkling responded."You've been here twice. Once at the age of 6, where you got someone to jab a stick at your spirit form, and once at the age of 10, where you jammed some Octobrush into your eye. Speaking of eyes, my goodness, your eyes have been critically damaged, along with most of your senses apart from taste and touch."

"Oh. Jeffery clinic." Four responded nonchalantly.

"Although you've been to one of our sites, you've never been here." the inkling said."You're lucky too, you came from the North, a place riddled with Octarian respawn points."

"Actually, I came from a super jump location." Four retorted.

"Ok." the inkling said."But that's not the weird thing. Says here you've been deceased since 2015."

"So...now?" Four responded.

"2015? No, it's 2017 now." the inking said.

"Wait, what?" Four said."It's been two years and I'm dead? I'll sort this out later, where's the plaza?"

"The plaza?" the inkling responded."Look kid, you're really behind with the times. The entire groundwork of that place is gone, and no one knows why. Everyone moved to Inkopolis Square since then."

"Cool. I'm still going." Four retorted."Where is it relative to here?"

"About 3 blocks south, then another block east." the doctor responded.

And with that, Four wasted no time in hurrying out of the eerily white building.

* * *

Four noticed a quaint difference in the way the inklings dressed. Was it a new fashion trend?

"Hey, look, it's that new bench the infrastructure guys overhyped." Four whispered to himself."Only the paint's been chipped off. And the right corner is missing."

Four observed these changes fondly as he made his trek to the Plaza. It was at least nice to finally be home after the lizard place, or the forest, or the place where Sans lived.

When he got to the plaza, he saw what he expected: all new groundwork, with the paint not even finished, and not a soul to be seen. Four first visited the café, to no avail, as the place was closed. He checked the corner where Spyke used to be, to no avail, as he was gone. The arcades, gone. The stores, gone, except for Jelonzo who looked malnourished as hell. Even the Great Zapfish was missing. Four could only hope home was the same. It wasn't.

When he got there, he could swear that his house used to be there. Maybe he accidentally went to Trevor's? But no, this was his house, and it is completely destroyed. Four wondered why, before...

"Holy shit, Four? You're alive!"

"Who?" Four said, before he turned around."Richard?"

"The one and only." Richard responded."The house? Yeah, I had to sell it during the Recession."

"Wait, the Recession?" Four said, bewildered.

"You haven't been here for a while, have you?" Richard said."The world had a massive economic depression due to the ever-growing Turf war craze. Since G could be used for food and other necessities, everyone quit their obligations to Turf War, considering how much money you could make out of it. The government had to make quick efforts to stop it, so they made an all new currency, deemed G only for clothing, and allowed G to new currency transfer for a limited time, ceasing production of an old G and replacing it with a new one, but they couldn't keep up, and food just kept costing more and more, until the government had to resort to Food Tickets to feed the populace. Some weirdo named Mr. Grizz is giving them out to lazy Inklings for some easy work. I was hit pretty hard by it. I had to get the plot where your house was reowned, then my wife divorced me to live in the much more successful countryside."

"Cool." Four responded.

"As for Trevor and your other friends, well, they're dead." Richard said."No one knows why, all we know is that they were floating in spirit form over the skies for too long, and they disappeared."

"Cool." Four said.

"You really don't care about this place, do you?" Richard retorted coldly.

"Eh, I got my memories back up until the 29th of May, 2015." Four said coyly.

"Wait...May 29th? Weird, you went missing on July 4th." Richard responded.

And in that point, Four realized something: When he tried to remember that point in history, it came up blank. It could only be because he didn't get all of his memory back. He needed to go charge the Hearthstone one more time. And he just super jumped miles away from where it was.

"Listen, Richard, you wouldn't happen to have something that works with this, now, would you?' Four said, showing Richard the gun.

"A homo-sapien age gun? Damn. Wherever you ended up in was pretty sweet." Richard responded."Anyway, it looks to accept these."

Richard handed Four some lead molded in the shape of the bullets Four used.

"Found these next to some Homo Sapien skeletons in the backyard." Richard said."Anyway, where are you headed?"

"Going to reclaim my memory." Four responded.

* * *

Four Superjumped to the Jump pad bordering the north side of the city with haste. Thankfully, as the place was ridden in desert, and the solitary mountain wasn't very far, Four's now normalized eyesight saw no issue in the road ahead. That was, of course, until Four reached the base of the mountain, and saw it.

A force of 2,000 Octarians stood between him, and the mountain.

"Another invasive force? Smart cookies." Four whispered to himself."Alright, if I was a strategic squid, what would I do?"

And then Four came up with something. Only, that thought that if he didn't stop them here, well, what little time he had with the new city would be all he had. So Four grit his teeth, planted his feet in, and, with no plan whatsoever, ran in. Well, what do you think happened?

"Wake the fuck up, Sam..." the Octarian started.

"That reference doesn't work." Four responded."I'm no Samurai."

"Well, whatever, because all you'll be soon is vapor." the Octoling beside Four responded.

"Eh, it would have been worse than to live knowing I did nothing." Four responded.

As soon as the Octarian raised it's weapon, the sound of drums filled the ears of every being in the distance. The creep of boots came upon them. The sound of a gong ringing in the depths like hope through the piercing darkness.

"What, kiddo, did you really think I would let you die like this?"

Four smiled with glee and hope, bursting out into a "YEEHAW MOTHERFU" before the Octoling hit him in the head.

" ." A familiar voice said.

Four could hear the growing sound of drums, the softness of the gong, and the stomps of the gamers. "Rise, Gamers" was what they uttered through and through. The moment was at a tension that could be snapped with the fly of one arrow. And that arrow was the sound of...

"GAMERS! RISE UP!"

Soon, the gentle sound the boots emitted was shifted into a hard run. The shots from both sides could be heard a mile, but not necessarily an "Inkopolis to here" length.

Of course, Four saw this as a great opportunity to shoot both of his captors in the head, soon after he headed into the main portion of the camp itself, shooting anyone who stood in his general vicinity.

And then the forces hit, trampling tents, exploding soldiers left and right. All the while Four was just killing any Octopus that looked at him funny. Until he met up with...

"So, you like the reinforcements, kiddo?" Sans yelled.

"Less talking, more fighting." Four said back.

Of course, if you have been paying attention, four thousand gamers showed up to a scene of two thousand octopi. What do you think happened?

"VICTORY! WE HAVE VICTORY!" the many gamers yelled, hunting down the last of the forces.

"I'm gonna take a wild guess on who is in the captain's quarters." Four said out loud.

And you guessed it, it was Trump.

"Listen, my tolerance for you showing up here is about as much as the political messaging the writer is trying to convey with your existence here. Zero." Four said.

"Uhh. Can we bar.." Trump said, before instantly getting shut up and shot 5 times.

* * *

"So, kiddo, where do ya go now?" Sans replied.

"I dunno." Four said."You first?"

"Disbanded, the Epic Gamer Squad has. Dead, Joker is. Reform into the Gamer Society, we will." Lego Yoda responded.

"Eh, they offered me a spot and some food." Sans added.

"Well, considering i'm pretty much homeless, i'm open to ideas." Four said.

"Still on the table, the offer is." Lego Yoda replied."Join the Gamer Society, you may."

"And with that, I reply in the same way:nah." Four responded.

"What about your memory?" Sans said.

"On second thought:also nah." Four replied."I thought, throughout my adventure, finding who I was would give me satisfaction, but then I realize my character is in desperate need of an update. I'm moving on from this phase of the story."

"Heh. For a first Fourth Wall break, not bad." Sans replied."But do you really think a title like that will lure in anyone?"

"That's what the word count is for." Four retorted.

"In lieu of this, go, where will you now?" Lego Yoda said.

"Probably gonna go and beg for food." Four responded."I suppose this is our last line."

"And remember, if you need our help, we're probably not gonna be there, considering the fact that there are some universal issues to be had." Sans said."And with that, Hearthstone, please."

Four tossed the stone to Sans' direction.

"Goodbye, young one." Lego Yoda said.

And with that, Four Super Jumped back in the direction of Inkopolis, and the Gamer Society headed up the mountain.

* * *

"Welp, i'm homeless now." Four said, coming on to the sight of Inkopolis Square.

Four analyzed the square, and the sight of a food truck caught his eye. Four waltzed over there, and found none other than Crusty Sean running the grill.

"Sean! Buddy! Pal! Friend!" Four started.

"Listen Four, I am not giving you any free food, not a very nice try." Sean responded.

"Damn. Eh, worth a try. What up." Four finished.

"Look, if you really want some food, just go over there and get some by working, Four." Sean said.

Four looked behind him to where Sean's crusty claw pointed to, and saw, well, you played the game.

"Oh wow, I sure am excited to work at that establishment near the COMPLETELY INCONSPICUOUS INKLING STANDING OVER A MANHOLE." Four started.

"Yeah, don't ask me about her." Sean said with a twitch in his voice."She just stands there and looks at people."

Four tipped his nonexistent hat at Sean, headed towards the working establishment, then "accidentally" tripped over the manhole and fell inside.

* * *

"Hmm..The Octarians..."

"Look, possibly crazy lady, if you're gonna do this whole exposition thing, at least make it more subtle or entertaining." Four replied.

"Well, whatever. I'm Marie. I know you're a bit starstruck right now, but I need you to get over it. Yes, I'm that Marie, from the Squid Sisters."

"Eh? Never heard of it. Are you some kind of new lesbian porn group to appease the folks over at Red County?" Four said, giggling to himself.

"What? No... Whatever. Look, The Great Zapfish has been kidnapped by Octarians, and I need your help to get it back. Now, while I may be an irresistible and absurdly talented POP STAR, in truth...I'm Agent 2 of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, a secret society of heroes who save the world from Octarians."

"Wait, so you work with that Three guy on TV?" Four said.

"Well, yes."

"Wait...I." Four said before he immediately connected the dots.

"Anyway, I've been trying to keep an eye on the Octarians on my down time, but i'm a busy girl. So, I need you to get the Great Zapfish back from those slimy Octarians. What do you say?"

"I mean, what do I get out of it? Considering our dialogue, I see what I would want in return, heh." Four sneered.

Marie quickly whacked Four in the head with her umbrella.

"I heard your homeless banter. I'll give you Cuttlefish Cabin if you succeed. Deal?"

"You think you can just upside me on the head and get away with it? Huh?" Four brashly continued.

"I'll take these few lines of dialogue and assume they were awkward silence, and I take your awkward silence as a yes. Now then, I never got your name."

"Four." Four replied.

"Well, that's convenient."

"How so?" Four said.

"Well, congratulations. You are now Agent 4 of the Squidbeak Splatoon!"


	7. Chapter 7: Greetings Across Centuries

"So, how did you get in here, Mr. Ranger?"

"You clearly don't read the news very often, do you?" Four retorted."I can't blame you."

Before the Inkling could respond, the metal bars swung open, hearkening the place with a *Thud*, revealing the full extent of the two guards, Splatter Shots at the ready. After them however, came one clad in nothing but a brown trench coat, the cleanest pants Four had ever seen, some slip on shoes, color to match, and a certain pipe.

"Quite fond of the pipe, it has an interesting mold and the Greenery is of considerable quality." he said, taking a seat next to the other prisoner."But enough about the pipe, let's talk about what we saw. Tell me your name."

"Fo-...Ranger." Four responded.

"So, tell me, what events could have possibly transpired in the square to leave every store in shambles, Off the Hook's break room filed with glass, Sean's truck totaled, Grizzco's hub shut down for the next few weeks, and the tower covered in ink?" the mystery inkling questioned."Not to mention you battered and bruised near splat capacity?"

The questioner went for a deep puff, when all of a sudden he had the pipe back in the same position, coughing up smoke.

"W-what?" the questioner said after, Four's hand near the pipe.

Four soon used the opportunity to grab the pipe from the questioner's hands, taking a puff himself, and then asking:

"Party trick, don't mind too much of it. Anyway, what would you like to hear?"

"Tell me everything from the start. Only then I will give you passage out of this place." the interrogator responded.

"Fine, but everything may be an overstatement to the situation you saw." Four retorted."But' i'll give you what I deem necessary."

"Fine, just get on with it." the interrogator said.

"Well... Where to begin..." Four said.

* * *

"Listen, if I could just sit in a lake while old people threw bread at me, that would be an amazing life." Four said."That's why, if I could be any animal, a goose would clearly be the most optimal choice."

"Look, here's an idea: if you get on with the job I hired you for, maybe you can be reincarnated as one." Marie responded.

"Sheesh, woman, I'll get on it eventually." Four said, making the most aggravating face Marie had ever seen."Not like the last place I went to even put up a fight, eh?"

Marie rolled her eyes at this, sighed, and responded with:

"Yes, the last place you got the Zapfish from 2 months ago."

"We have plenty of time for that later." Four replied, shrugging."It's not like the city isn't without spare."

"Spare that won't last the next 2 months, Four." Marie replied with a stern face.

Four opened his mouth to respond, but it was soon overtaken with ringing from Marie's squid phone.

"You've reached the Outpost, how can I help yo...Sheldon?"

Marie paused for a second, then responded with:

"The mountains? What about the mountains?"

Marie paused for another second, then responded:

"Oh shit, one of them survived?"

Marie paused for, well, you get the point.

"Don't worry, I have a guy."

The phone beeped, and the murmur of both parties ceased.

Marie turned around, her oval face grim and shook.

"Listen, there's been a change of plans." she finally said.

"Great, more work." Four moaned."What's up?"

* * *

"Alright, team, work to it!" Sheldon yelled at the team with gusto."Those doors aren't gonna open themselves."

"Sir, to be fair, we've been at this for 2 years, and nothing has budg..."

The inkling soon got his face shut by the floor...

Beyond the door.

"Well, looks like you spoke to soon Es..."

Sheldon couldn't finish his sentence before a gust of wind blew in his face and the wind. He tried to pick up his glasses, but to no avail, seeing as they were destroyed, along with nearly all of the scientists' equipment, all of this replaced by a looming figure outside.

"So this is the future. It's...Splatoon? What the fu..."

"Uhh sir, would you kindly explain to us what just happened, and possibly subject yourself into our testing facilities?" Sheldon meekly said.

* * *

"Do you see the fencing around the place?" Marie said.

"Yeah, about 5 miles back." Four responded.

"What? Why did you not tell me?" Marie said back.

"Because you're being extra bossy today, Ms." Four snarked, making lip noises, followed by a quick 'heh'.

"Whatever, where are you now?" Marie said, in an effort to get the subject back on track.

"As close to the place as I am close to one of Sean's waffle abominations." Four retorted, shifting the focus away once more.

At this point, Marie just gave up on the conversation altogether, and Four happily made his way towards the lab in the mountains. Until...

"AAAHHHHH!"

"Eh? What's with the noise?" Four said, jumping out of the green truck.

"Uh, are you the guy Marie sent?" Sheldon said, a shocked expression plaguing his face.

"Uhh, yeah, i'm Four, by the way." Four responded."Anyway, what's with the screech of anguish?"

"Uhh..." Sheldon started, before a splat noise accompanied by a face full of ink.

"Oh." Four said as he turned around, finding multiple puddles of ink and a half-crushed inkling underneath the wheels of the truck."My bad."

As the last of the scientists blew up, Four soon wiped the ink from his face, turned around, and asked:

"So, which way to the lab?"

"It's just forward from here. Watch yourself around him, ok?" Sheldon said.

But before Sheldon could say more, Four hopped back into the truck, which had a screen on it for some odd reason, and drove off.

When Four got to his destination, crashing the truck stylishly into the base of the mountain, I may add, Four was indicated of the jump point on the top of the mountain, and made his way there.

After his super jump was done, Four was hit by a shockwave of chills.

"W-what the hell?" Four stated.

After ten seconds of walking forward, Four uncovered the end of the 'pathway', uncovering it from the thick layer of snow, and found a metal wall outlining a smaller metal rectangle, which typically indicates...

"A door." Four said with hope.

Four looked at the door for a moment, before saying 'Fuck it' and kicking the thing open, to little resistance.

What he was greeted with was a room, merely outlined in tiled metal, clad in wires and various wired objects, doors, but oddly cleanly. The cold air was starting to fill, and Four tried his best to sense for a light switch. In one moment held the chill that eliminated any senses, in the next...

"Yeah, look, we found the stones, just...hold on." accompanied by a wave of heat and light above Four.

Four's senses once again eluded him, but for one second, he could swear to see a figure in the opposite end of the room.

"So, you were sent here by those squid things to capture or kill me. Your name is Four. Is that correct?"

"I suppose I should thank you for saving me a hefty spiel." Four snarked, before all faded, and the human revealed itself.

Four soon saw this as an underhanded opportunity to shoot him with a slight of hand competition, banking off a curling bomb in the meanwhile. As Four did this however, the human stood still, taking both the Dualie shot and the curling bomb.

"Well, if it was this easy, I wonder if Marie will give me an overtime..." Four said, before being cut off by the figure in front of him.

Four spared no time in gasping for life, and quickly jabbed the man in the gut, sending him flying into the metal wall behind him.

"Check." Four sneered, almost laughing."On closer inspection, we seem to have the same body type, color, all except your black hair.

"Hmmm..." the human grunted, getting up. "So that's what that stuff does. Welp, alright, kid, you've proven your mettle."

"Don't call me a kid, we look the same age!" Four started, before the man snapped his fingers, blinding Four for a moment.

"Wha-" Four startled, as in the next moment, he found himself in a bus, the seats filled up with people as the windows were filled with clouds.

"Is this what you wanted?" a taller, darker man in red claimed.

Suddenly, the shorter woman in the back piped up with," You know who I would have asked for it?"

"No, I" Four started, before getting interrupted by a blue haired man saying, "Quit horsing around!" before putting his mouth his fist, containing something, and saying, "Play me some of that jumping music."

All of a sudden, the bus filled with a blare, accompanied by a red siren and the disembodied voice saying, "I like it like that."

It suddenly clicked in Four's mind what was happening. Unfortunately, it was all too late, as the man clad in yellow behind him garbled some speech, and opened the door behind them.

Four was immediately thrust out of the bus, which was on retrospect blue, the ground an island, accompanied by the faintest sound of "Not even a thank you?"

"This isn't real! This isn't real! This isn't real!" Four shouted to himself, the tiny island becoming not as tiny anymore. Four turned himself on his back, curled up into a ball, and braced for what he thought was a nonexistent impact.

It wasn't.

"AHHHHH! My non-existent spine!" Four yelled, back in the mountain lab room.

All of a sudden, the human began to giggle to himself, then bursting out into full laughter.

"Eh? What's so funny, freaky shit?" Four yelled.

"Oh, you wouldn't get it." the human responded."It's certainly been fun screwing with you, sir yellow vomit."

All of a sudden, his fingers snapped once more, and Four dematerialized on the spot, reverting to his spirit form.

* * *

" Are you awake?" Marie asked.

"Yeah, yeah." Four responded.

"Sheesh." Marie said back."You had me worried for a second there. Lucky you I activated this backup respawn point next to the training dummies."

"Yeesh, the human sure is good at his illusory tech, eh?" Four giggled.

"What illusory tech?" Marie responded, concerned."We've been working at the site for a year, and found nothing of the sort."

"Eh, he's probably got in in the back." Four nonchalantly responded."Or, he could be...nevermind."

"You've seen something like this before?" Marie said, concerned."If you have any information on what we're dealing with, then, please, indulge us."

"You'll find out what he is later. I'm too lazy to find out now." Four said back."I'm heading to Sean's."

"Oh no, you took the job here, you're seeing this through." Marie responded, annoyed, holding on Four's shirt." What we are going to do now is find out what we are going to do later."

"Well, you could start by figuring out how to answer me these questions: where the hell am I, what time is it, and why you're trying to kill me." the human said.

The two fell over onto the colored dummies in shock, thus launching them back on their feet. After regaining composition, Marie responded with:

"As for the time, primate, it's around 2:30."

"Shut it, smartass." the human responded, which Four took a very minor jolt towards. "I'm asking big, yellow, and ugly over there."

"I ain't gonna explain this to you. Marie got you and I into this mess." Four bluffed.

"Anyways, primate, you're in the Outpost, Inkopolis, it's 1530th Passing in our time, and, seeing as you are a caveman primate, to run experiments on you and your stuff to advance our civilization." Marie responded with an aura of cool.

"Oh. That's all you were after?" the human responded. "Well, why didn't you just ask?"

All of a sudden, a light red mist barely visible to the eye wooshed into the human's hand for one instant, and in the next, appeared a living, breathing, human, with the smallest eyes and the most styled hair.

"Here. Feed him 3 times a day, unless you want him dead. No one back in my time liked these guys, so I guess you can have them." the human said.

"And the tech?" Marie sternly asked.

"Y'know, for someone who likes pulling the 'primate' card, your species is awfully dependent on human technology." the human said in a rather condescending voice."Like the truck?"

Marie opened her mouth to respond, but decided to avoid further conflict.

"Now, see, back home, I'm particularly known for my distrust in people." the human began."However, I am willing to make an exception: Yellow thing, wanna watch some human movies? We had this thing called Netflix, it stores a few good movies."

"Eh, I have nothing better to do this weekend." Four said.

"Nothing to do? What about, I don't know, the Octarians?" Marie yelled.

"Eh, they're too stupid to tell their asses from their eyeballs, fuck em'." Four nonchalantly responded, right before a familiar blue portal showed itself.

"So, Ranger, we come across at last! You have shook the pride of Space Lord. What say thee?" the familiar man in black said, before noticing the human."Ah, Reality Lord, we have tracked the one Pirate known as Ranger. As his origin is within this universe's territory, I leave him in your hands!"

"Would you please stop calling me 'reality lord'? I said 'Dan' would suffice." the human responded, slightly annoyed."You're making the entire council sound really pretentious."

"Wait..Oh shit. You're him? The reality warper?" Four piped up from the back.

"Yes, now shush." Dan responded, turning back to face the other."Look, we found him. He's in an alternate universe. We also know there's at least one more, and they're most likely capping off their team at 6. The stones they have are Time and Space, they don't have mine yet. I need feet here before I leave."

"And you're trusting him?" Space Lord responded.

"First off, he outsmarted you, and second off, I'm giving him something to help turn the tide." Dan said back.

"*sigh*. Fine." Space Lord said before the familiar blue glow preceded his vanish.

"Wait, so you're entrusting me to fight pirates?" Four said.

"Oh, no. Much, much worse." Dan responded casually.

"Wait, then shouldn't you be heading out immediately?" Marie piped up.

"Eh. I wanna watch me some movies." Dan said."Yellow thing, you should know where the snack spots are in the city, right?"

"Uhh, yeah." Four responded absentmindedly."There's Sean's place, if you're looking for the biggest, unhealthiest, and most disgusting waffles and sandwiches on the planet. My personal preference."

"It'll do." Dan said back.

"My actual name is Four, by the way." Four said."And I don't have that much yellow on me."


	8. Chapter 8:My Revolution

"Y'know, the concept of Shrimp Waffles was foreign to me at first, but I suppose first impressions aren't everything, eh?" Dan said.

"Speaking of unhealthy, what time is it?" Four asked.

"4:30 in the morning, I'd say." Dan responded.

"Oh, shit, I've got shift at the outpost today." Four asked.

"Don't you have shift every day?" Dan asked.

"Exactly." Four said."What's this movie?"

"It's called Pulp Fiction, featuring Sam Jackson, the guy who played Nick Fury." Dan responded."You should just read the subtitle."

"Oh, cool." Four said."And unlike Inglorious Bastards, not controversial at all."

"It's Tarantino, don't get your hopes up." Dan nonchalantly responded.

"Oh, please, when will the topic of Pulp start conflict?" Four snarked.

"Eh." Dan sighed, turning the movie on.

* * *

The sun was shining, the trees were blooming, the children were in the town square. Except no, because it's 3:00 in the afternoon, and they're playing games inside their room because it's 35 degrees.

Four would know this, of course, if he and Dan weren't asleep.

When Four awoke, the movie was over, and the black screen loomed. Waking Dan up, he soon asked for the exit.

"Before I go, you said you have something to give me. What is it?" Four asked.

"Oh, yeah." Dan realized."But, before that, do you know why Multi-versal Travel is outlawed?"

"As I've been asked this twice before, it's outlawed because whenever there is a Schrödinger's Cat situation, like when someone decides whether to have cereal or rat poison for breakfast, a new universe is created." Four responded, slightly annoyed."All universe creation is scripted by your guys to follow a linear path, so whenever a pirate comes into a universe, an effect like that is unlawfully created so the universe spawned may crash, albeit rarely, into another universe, the byproduct of which is Molontonari."

"Well yes, and no." Dan spoke." Tell me: have you heard of the concept of Fate?"

"Please, enlighten me. Not like I have anything better to do." Four said.

"I doubt there is sarcasm in that, so I shall continue." Dan responded."You see, all beings in the multi-verse are bound to a specific fate. The Time God could not make a vessel like us, due to him not having conscience, as he is all of two things: Time, the vessel, and Fate, the manipulator. Time allows the universe to move in a linear way, albeit with some time travel shenanigans, while Fate binds every single universe, even you and I in it's grasp. You see, beings like us don't actually have choice, we are scripted to specific actions. The universes are actually created by factors outside of your control, which can't be comprehended by beings like you and I, as I am a mere branch, not the whole dimensional shattering tree."

"What does this have to do with the gift?" Four annoyingly answered.

"Because I thought, unless you shifted universes, it's impossible to control fate." Dan said."Until I realized something: there are two other methods, totaling to three. One is the aforementioned universe pirating, the second is to rewind time and put your present consciousness into a past body, and the third is this."

Dan pulled out of his pocket a slim object, glimmering in it's crimson.

"Is that a Joy-Con for the Switch?" Four said."If you're giving me one, then I'll gladly take it."

"Sorry, but no." Dan said."This is the time cutter."

"The wha?" Four asked.

"Time Cutter." Dan repeated in a sterner voice."I realized that, if you cut Time, but not Fate, the two segments of time snap back together, however, leaving the fate that happened in those seconds to still happen. To non-wielders, they will have done the things they have in that length of fate in an instant, not even realizing it. This, of course, doesn't change Fate. What does, however, is what happens to the wielder. The wielder is sent to Cut Time, where everything anything will ever do for those moments will be outlined. However, you are still human, or in this case Inkling, in that time. In theory, you could see the pattern of every atom movement. When you are in this Cut Time, however, you can't interact with anything, but when you exit, everything, down to the last atom, will be affected by your new position. For those moments, you are above fate, and can actually make decisions on your own. It is impossible to directly control Fate, only indirectly through chain reaction."

"Gee, that's a paragraph."Four said, catching the red Joy-Con.

"It is, but I'm warning you now, how much Cut Time you have is correlated to how much energy you put into the press. Try not to die." Dan said.

"Wait, so if there's three methods, then why do you only exploit one?" Four asked.

"There's no point in making universe traversing things, god knows that's been done to death, as for the time rewind, I have something here." Dan said, holding out a light pink Joy-Con."It's still a prototype and hasn't been tested yet, so I'll leave it here. Use it if you want to get every last atom shredded."

"Cool." Four said."What I've been meaning to ask is if you have any bullets for this gun I found in a cave."

Four held out the Molontonari gun he got. Dan inspected it, and reality-warped in a fresh batch of around 50 magazines in the back of the room.

"Au Revoir, my puke-yellow friend!" Dan responded.

* * *

When Four finally got back to the Outpost, Marie was nowhere in sight, but a note and a green walkie-talkie with the Ammo Knights logo was. Four picked it up, reading:

"Take the file and go get the location of the next Zapfish. Warmer regards, Marie."

Upon closer inspection, there was a file underneath the note. Four sifted through it, the file outlining suspects for Octoling spies. Sifting through it all, Four noticed a few details about three suspects that looked strange, like, oh, I don't know, the tentacles?

"How anyone is fooled by this is beyond me." Four sighed.

They, conveniently, all lived in the same place, right where Trevor used to live, which was really convenient. Four took the walkie-talkie, and headed out.

When Four got there, taking the not so familiar road due to the entire plaza being gone. He took the fork in the road, and walked more through the dead streets of this part of Inkopolis.

Getting there, Four saw a massive increase in plainness. Four, of course, disregarded this notion and knocked down the door with gusto.

Coming there, Four saw, in the living room, three 'inklings'. One to the right on a couch, one sitting in the left corner, and one on the table, eating something.

"Sorry for the mess, boys." Four said, coming in the room.

All three shook up at the sight of Four. Four prompted the one on the couch to sit down, making the forbidden hand symbol when he did, prompting the other two to follow suit.

"You know who I am?" Four asked.

The three were too stunned to answer.

"I am an Agent of your business partners, the New Splatoon." Four said, pumping up the ominous tone by a drop."You do remember your business partners, correct?"

"Let me take a wild guess here: you're Generic Octarian #1, correct?" Four said, pointing to the sole girl eating.

"Looks like I caught you guys and gals at breakfast. Sorry about that." Four said."What'cha having?"

"Waffles." Generic Octarian meekly responded.

"Waffles!" Four responded."The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of waffles?"

"Uh...Chocolate waffles." Generic Octarian said in an even more quiet voice.

"Nonononono. Where did you get them?" Four asked."Sean's, the Café?"

"Uhh, Sean's Galactic waffle." Generic Octarian said, the color on each of their faces draining.

"Sean's waffles!" Four exclaimed."That's the truck joint. I hear he's got some tasty Galactics. How's it taste?"

"G-good." Generic Octarian. replied.

"Mind if I try one of your's? This one is your's here, right?" Four asked.

She made a gesture indicating yes, so Four used a nearby fork, and dug a nice chunk, making sure to include all the whipped cream and syrup.

"Mmmmm. That is a tasty waffle." Four said.

After this, Four opened up his walkie talkie to none other than Sheldon's irritating voice on the other side.

"Hey, Sheldon, have you ever had a Galactic Waffle? Want a bite, they're real tasty." Four asked. Some quiet gibberish emitted from the other side.

"If you like waffles, then get em'." Four responded."Me? I personally prefer the sandwiches. I'm a late waker, which practically means I'm a breakfast skipper."

Four turned back to the three, and asked," You know what they call a Galactic waffle in the countryside? They call it a Super Mega waffle. You know why they call it that?"

"Because they don't know what outer space is?" Generic Octarian responded.

"Check out the big brains on Generic Octarian! You're a smart motherfucker!" Four said back.

After this, Four turned around to the one on the couch.

"You, flock of seagulls, you got why I'm here?" Four asked, pointing to the one on the couch. "Why don't you tell me where the shit's hid at."

To Four's disappointment, no one else responded. Eventually the couched one pointed to the counter, where some papers lie. Four headed over there, turned on the comms.

"Do you have visual on the plans?" Sheldon asked.

"Oh yeah, we're happy." Four responded.

"Look, that isn't what it looks like, ok? We're not spies!" Generic Octarian piped up, mustering all her courage.

"My name's Four, by the way, and your ass ain't talkin' your way outta this." Four replied, annoyed at how horribly this is going. So, of course, he pulled back his Hero Dualies, and brought out the M16, shooting the couched one in the process.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?" Four asked."Oh, you were finished! Well then, allow me to retort: What does Marie look like?"

"V-veemo?" Generic Octarian answered.

Four flipped over the table in front of him with excitement over the forthcomings. This is what we all have been waiting for.

"What country you from?" Four asked.

"V-veemo?" Generic Octarian said.

"Veemo ain't no country I ever heard of!" Four yelled."Do they speak Inkish in Veemo?"

"V-veemo?" Generic Octarian said once again.

"Inkish, MotherFucker, do you speak it?" Four yelled.

"Yes!" answered.

"Then you know what I'm saying!" Four yelled."Describe what Marie look like?"

"V-veemo?" Generic Octarian said once again.

"Say Veemo again. SAY VEEMO AGAIN. I DARE YOU. I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER. SAY VEEMO ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!" Four said, with a secret giggle.

"White hair, pale skin, short tentacles!" Generic Octarian answered.

"Does she look like a bitch?" Four said.

Has anyone not watched the movie yet? Spoilers: Brett says What.

Four showed no hesitation and shot her twice in the borders of her chest. Four thought she would survive.

She didn't.

"Every party's got a pooper." Four sighed, picking up the plans and shoving them haphazardly into his pockets."I memorized Ezekiel 25:17 for nothing."

All of a sudden, the two doors slammed wide open, revealing two Octo Snipers, Four, of course, instead of ducking, tried to see if they would miss.

They didn't.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Marie yelled.

"C'mon, it was funny!" Four said.

"Alright, it was kind of funny." Marie said, calming down. "What did you even reference?"

"Pulp Fiction, the human showed me. Great movie." Four replied.

"A human movie?" Marie said."What's wrong with our movies, especially the ones I starred in."

"Listen, all Inkling movies suck seagull ass." Four snarked."And if you're looks were as good as your acting, then you wouldn't even star in one."

Marie's cheeks turned a slight pink at this comment, but she gained her composure quickly.

"And if your smarm was as believable as your acting, people might actually like you."

"Not to be rude, but may we focus?" Sheldon asked.

"Nope." Four said."I just went through a Multi-Dimensional adventure, fought two gods, and gained the ability to erase time. I think I'm finally worthy for S+, no?"

"Or you could take that erased time and use it to find the Octarians you let go." Marie snided.

"Yeah, and you didn't set a respawn trap, they could spawn anywhere." Sheldon added.

"Relax. And besides, what are they gonna do?" Four responded.

"I dunno, but I sign your paycheck, so you're gonna go investigate some more cases before I let you off the hook." Marie said.

"You mean the paycheck that doesn't exist?" Four retorted.

"Exactly." Marie responded."Now here, the place is where another Zapfish is. Go find some info."

As soon as Four made for the Canyon pipes, draining himself in them, Sheldon said:

"Y'know, you do have a free afternoon, and you're not even S+ yet, either. You could spend it getting there."

"No, but thank you for the offer."Marie responded."I prefer keeping the responsibility around here. Someone has to."

* * *

"Alright Four, do you have visual on the building?" Marie said, albeit with interference.

"Yeah, just gimme a sec to scout out the place." Four replied.

Before Four could, however, someone bumped over his shoulder, going in the opposite direction.

It was an Octoling.

Four caught on to this notion, and pointed directly at her.

"Listen up, my compatriots are giving me their house for data. Now, turn the hell around." Four said.

Four began to move closer, and, on a second inspection, this one seemed to be missing a chunk of her armor. Strange.

"Alright, Marie, take over." Four said, pulling a phone out of his pocket, Marie's face taking the screen up.

"Let's get the obvious out of the way: what kind of force do you have stationed at that base?" Marie said, accompanied by a quite menacing glare.

The Octoling couldn't answer. She was too preoccupied with wimpering in fear.

"No need to be afraid, Madame, we won't hurt you, just answer the question." Sheldon butted in.

The Octoling looked like she didn't even hear him. She just kept looking at the building, her wimpers getting even worse.

"God dammit, we don't have time for this." Marie said."Four, do your thing."

"Nah. You got this." Four retorted.

Her wimpers soon mustered into tears, all while still looking dead on the building.

"GODDAMIT, GIVE US THE LAYOUT ALREADY." Marie shouted, giving the device a bit of a shock.

The Octoling now began to point at the building, using the other to hold herself, while she began to shake up.

"MY COUSIN IS ROTTING IN A CELL OR WORSE. GIVE US THE FUCKING LAYOUT." Marie began again.

She couldn't keep the tension anymore, or she saw something to give her fright, because she screamed in terror, and ran on all fours like a hunted animal. Four, being the earth in this scenario, raised his gun right at her.

"Nonononono. PLEASE. You can't send me back there. You can't. Set up another spawn point, just please, please don't send me there." She said, mixed in with many heavy breaths, wimpers, tears, and the occasional scream.

"She's a wreck, Marie." Four said."Better do what she wants, we might get something out of it."

"Fine." Marie bitterly responded."Sheldon do your thing."

"Already did." Sheldon brightly said."Just shoot her, and.."

Four didn't hesitate and put three in her chest.

"Now, we've found the prey, and the earth." Four said."Time to go see the hunter."

Four wasted none of his time and super jumped in the direction she was pointing at.

The outside of the building was in pristine condition.

"Probably just some insane bugger they sent out." Four thought."Lucky for me, the place isn't too heavily guarded."

Four jumped into the building with haste, waiting to super jump to the beginning of the level.

The opportunity never came. The floating islands were as flat as smooth stone. The Octo Troopers' stand things lay broken and abandoned.

Four could hardly see. There was no artificial light. It was as pitch black as the area was silent.

As Four walked on, multiple glass shards cut deep into his feet. Nevertheless, he moved on, the light of his phone the only thing that waned him on this sea of darkness.

Four soon slipped on a puddle of ink. Getting up, he was surprised. It wasn't the usual purple they emitted. It was green. An artificial greenish blue, contrasting with the rough, sparkly ink the Octarians were known for in the area. This ink was smooth. It oozed out parallel to Four's right hand, should he lay down. Four followed the path to the Zapfish, hoping to find where it came from.

He did. The zapfish pedestal was empty, save for the green ink oozing out from both sides.

Four opened his walkie-talkie.

"Marie, it's gone. The Zapfish is gone." Four stated.

"W-what?" Marie responded.

"The place is wrecked." Four said."I'm going."

"Tell me everything once you get back." Marie said, confused.

* * *

"What can you give me about this?" Marie asked.

"The inside was wrecked. Nothing but glass shards, abandoned posts, and ink on the floor." Four said.

"Any hint as to who did it?" Marie said.

"That's what bugs me." Four said."If it was an army, then the outside would be wrecked, too. If it was a singular unit, then it would have been a sneaking mission, meaning hardly anything would be wrecked. If the threat came from the inside, it would have been the goo, which did nothing to me, or the Octoling, who had a bit on her at the time."

"Speaking of that Octoling, it's been no use." Marie piped up."She just looks, unmoving, in one direction, until the slightest noise comes, and then she runs around uncontrollably, babbling nonsense. We can't even open the door. We had to restrain her so she would stop clawing at herself."

"Yeesh." Four said."Anyway, I'm heading out to finally get that S+, baby!"

"Oh, no, you're not." Marie said."We're not leaving until this case is closed."

All of a sudden, Sheldon came, barging into both of them.

"Three's back! She's back!" Sheldon yelled.

"Sweet. I'm out." Four said.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go see her!" Marie said."Hope Gramps is there, too!"

* * *

The sun was shining, the trees were blooming, the children in the town square. Everything was well and dandy.

Three had parole around the city today, after getting the Great Zapfish back, and the interview, she was a national hero, even after the slow decaying power of a year. But she couldn't let that get on her track of duty. No, no, she continued with city inspection, checking every alley way, until...

"Ey, man, gonna cry? Gonna piss? Oh wait, you don't have dongs! Haha."

Two inklings were beating up on some random jellyfish.

"Oh shit, it's that national hero. Let's go get her autograph!"

Three didn't mind this, she was getting bombarded by requests for autographs everyday at this point. Her eyes were built for this. One glare is enough to scare any stranger off, and the same held true for these thugs.

Three took nothing of it, and left. She was done with Parole as of now, and headed out for a nice drink at the Café. She never liked the beverages, but the sweets always caught her eye. Though, she did only tend to eat one a day, trying to keep in pristine health. Until, once again...

*CRASH*

Two cars parallel to where Three was walking suddenly collided, sending debris flying. Thankfully, this was something Three was adequate with, and dodged all of it with grace.

"Is that the hero from the news?" The townsfolk cheered.

Three gave them all the run of the mill autographs, and they all left content. The victims of the accident would just respawn, after all.

Three finally made it to the plaza, the green tower looming over the place. Three finally made it to his destination, ordered a cake, and sat herself down. Though, one thing was keeping her from enjoying this evening. A singular gaze, not even from a pair of eyes felt on her. This was nothing out of the ordinary, Three thought. Just a fan.

Three looked around. No one looking directly at her. Must be a bug. Fitting, because it's still bugging her. Callie told Three not to let these kinds of things control her too much, and maybe there was some merit to that. Someone else will kill it, she thought. Even as she was thinking, the view left. So she busted out the local news.

*Breaking News: Squidney World closed after multiple malfunctions and multiple dead*

Three was brought down by the news. With all her Turf War winnings, her recently making it into big game S+, she was planning to treat the Splatoon out for a weekend at the place, her left out to do parole, of course. But, what could be done. It happens every other week, but she was hoping this week would be lucky.

Three finished her cake, and headed home. Her deed was done for the day, and it was time to rest and get ready for tomorrow. Thankfully, her house was just down the street, as she didn't like the boisterous houses of the suburbs. Everything was guns and roses for Three, as they say, except for that glare seeming to come back, but faded soon after.

Three finally got home. She folded her Hero Suit with utmost precision, lay her Hero Shot underneath the bed, as she saw fit, and changed into her Friday pajamas, as neatly aligned as her bed.

"I don't know why you're here." Three said."Please, elaborate on that."

The ominous blob just sat there, not moving, and not making a noise.

Three went for the Charger beside her shelf, but to no avail. The being was already sought out the weapons nearest Three, and used newfound appendages to shatter them, save for one: the Hero Shot, which was thrown out to the hallway.

Three showed no fear and rushed the being with gusto, grabbing a chair in the meanwhile, to no avail. It was consuming it, and her. Even her speed, shaking the entire neighborhood, affected this being not.

Three broke away, to no avail, seeing as immediately after, the appendages focused on her, slamming her to the wall. The last appendage, finally returning, went in for Three's head.

She wasn't killed.

As Three's thoughts turned into mush, she could only think of one thing: Mind Controlling Parasite. Three had to think how to convey the message to Cuttlefish, the Squid Sisters, anyone to hear her plea. Hell, even that dumbass in Octo Valley. But how?

The heat was on, her conscience was being drained. She grabbed a piece of cloth from her shirt, tarnished it with some of the blob matter, and threw it out with all her might. Her conscience being drained, Three began to relax, knowing that the message would be sent. Unusually, however, as she began to relax, her thoughts followed suit, becoming clearer and sharper than ever before. This wasn't an act of Mind Control.

This was a case on Assimilation. If Three didn't stop it now, she would be lost forever. She gave it one last hurrah, a blaze of glory and gusto!

Except no.

Her will to fight this had disappeared. More and more, it became like her appendage, and with that she could feel that her conscience was to collide with something coming from the other end. She couldn't think about what to do next, but could hear the other's thoughts. Soon, they became her thoughts, as she struggled less and less...

* * *

It was another day for Three, getting up in the morning. The events of last night becoming all but a distant bad dream. Today was a fresh day to go on parole once more. She got her nicely folded Hero Suit once more, preparing her Saturday pajamas neatly on her bed. Grabbing the Hero Shot, left out on the hallway, eating a hefty breakfast, and heading out on her way.

Once on the road, Three saw a familiar blob head peering out of a massive truck. Three, with her immense speed, inevitably caught up to it to say hi.

"Hey, kid. Sorry about the mess those two caused yesterday." Three charismatically said."Here, kid, take this as a token of appreciation, considering it is a literal token."

The jellyfish caught the little gold token.

"Man, I dunned your stupid ass 7k gold." the Jellyfish said."Imma run over those squigga asses all over."

"Perfect." Three said, the jellyfish driving off in the meanwhile as soon as the light turned red.

"Heh. Cute kid." Three said, walking away.

They never found the truck, or the body.

* * *

Four and Marie both ran out of the manhole, Four towards the tower, and Marie stopping, double checking with Sheldon, and heading out to Three's apartment.

Four entered the Tower, ready for anything. He looked towards the top, checking his status.

One win to S+, three cracks on the bar.

Four saw this as no issue, of course. His adventures spanning multiple dimensions, battling, albeit losing horribly, to two gods, and that was before he got this device to erase time, which he strangely has yet to test.

Four waited in the lobby for quite a while, but his team came eventually. Considering they were all starred level 99 Japanese players, Four was satisfied at this lineup. He grabbed his Brush, and greeted the team with gusto...

*Splat Zones, Blackbelly Skatepark, GO!*

The match began strong, the charger of the group firing a way, the Splatter Shot Pro's continuing the streak, Four soon being sent to take the flank. Once Four got there, he quickly inked the area, ricochet an auto bomb over the corner, and near the pillar. Four checked the map to see where his teammates were, and who was nearest to charge the Booyah Bomb. His expectations, however, his expectations were subverted to an extreme.

Three of the Four enemy players disconnected mid-match.

"Aw hell yeah! This is gonna be easy!" Four yelled, running out to the main field.

No one was even there. The four teammates took it with swiftness. None of Four's teammates could see clearly the enemy spawn, so they just sat there, waiting for a response from the one remaining player.

A minute passed. Nothing. Another. Nothing. It got to the point where Four had to splash some of his ink with a dye just to keep the match going, his curiosity raging him on. Everyone was ready to go home.

Until something caught their eyes.

A singular, green-haired inkling, walking. Not running, not firing, walking. Clad in neon yellow armor, bordered by black, she walked on.

"Bakana? Japanese Text Japanese Text?" The Japanese players laughed, mocking the idiot.

Soon, the entire team began firing their bombs and weapons directly at her, filling the entire area with blobs of ink, and a purple smoke.

"Hah! Easiest Ma.."Four gasped."Ma..Ma..Ma"

The inkling kept moving. She didn't even look their direction.

"Enough fooling around. Roller, Charger, stay here. Me and Brush will take care of this." One Japanese player sternly yelled from the background.

Four and him jumped into action. Four hid back for a little, around the curves, to get a clearer shot, while the Splatter Shot Pro went mad and tried to outrange him, drawing closer and closer.

Except no.

Before the Pro could even get near her, a massive cut appeared in Pro's chest, sending him flying like an open balloon, knocking the charger out of the pillar and onto her left side, killing them both, and securing the left Zone.

Four was caught completely off guard by this, now stuck in a puddle of purple ink. But that wasn't what caught Four's attention, as he frantically searched his memory for any traces of this Inkling's movement, but none to be found. She just seemed to be walking.

Meanwhile, the roller readied himself, as the inkling approached the bottom of the pillar. The team thought, while having the team halved in respawn, they had the Earth aspect down. She had no way of getting on top of that tower with a roller on her guard, could she?

They were proven correct. When she got there, she simply stared for a second, then grinned. In the next, she was already walking past it.

"W-Wha!" Roller chimed in, before the sound of his voice and sight of his figure were both blinded by stone and smoke.

The tower came crumbling down like glass, dropping towards the right zone, capturing it instantly, putting the team at a high penalty.

As for the girl, she merely kept walking towards Four's spawn. Four had no idea what he just witnessed, but he knew he had to do something. So, perhaps in vain, he threw out an Auto Bomb, and quickly submerged himself.

The former pillar was almost done falling, if not for a small, metallic, duck ricocheting off a chunk larger than Four's oval head. The Japanese players watched from the respawn point as the Auto Bomb launched the stone further, in turn launching it towards its goal. One second, it looked like it would make the mark right on her face, with even Four coming out of the ink to spectate.

In another, there was a mark. It was simply on the sender's face.

Four yelped in pain, the Auto Bomb behind him, ready to erupt. The stones now lay flat on the captured zone. Four gave one last hurrah, and launched another Auto Bomb.

It missed horrendously, not even making it 3 foot lengths to the girl.

As the hope drained from Four's teammate's faces, it seemed to seep into Four's face.

The bomb behind Four finally gave in, and blew, launching Four at a staggering speed towards the girl.

Finally, the girl turned around, her green eyes chilling even Four and the audience. Four disregarded this notion, and proceeded to raise his Brush for a horizontal slash.

The girl, seeing this, leaped, far, farther than any Super Jump, and farther than any of Four's team could see. Four simply looked in the direction she launched, and closed his eyes, cringing.

The second Auto Bomb gave in, and blew, with Four directly on top of it.

This launched Four up faster than anyone in the world could muster alone. He turned his body upright, and was reaching closer and closer to the figure above him.

Finally, near the vertex of their launch, the two met, eye to eye, body to body, on even ground. Four could finally get a look at the inkling girl's face. Blue-green hues filled the center of her white eyes. Ears laden with a large, familiar headset, all topped off with a shocked expression on her eyes and quivering lips.

Four went in for a horizontal slash, his mark right below her elbow. The brush inches away from it's target, before a familiar sleeved elbow came crashing down on the holdings of the brush's hairs, on impact shattering the entire front.

This forced Four to turn his body at a 90 degree angle, moving him forward. The girl seized the opportunity, flipping her body, and slamming Four's back with the back of her leg.

This caused Four to plummet down at a staggering speed, the air around him nearly taking his headphones off, until he slammed to the ground, destroying the platforms the pillar was adjacent to with ease.

The girl, watching this happen, and while falling, shifted into Squid Form, and Super Jumped back to spawn, the blares of *OverTime* finally showing itself, but not too long, before the whistle signifying the end of the game rung.

She sat there, confused, before looking at where the zones lie, coated in purple ink, the three Japanese players standing right on top of it.

* * *

"Quick, Sheldon, start the Truck!" Marie said."Actually, on retrospect, let's just walk."

Marie and Sheldon ran out of the manhole, Four quickly behind.

They hastened their pace, as to not get hit by the oncoming cars, who already got into a Four-way accident behind them. Running through, familiar city structure, they quickly came to the towering hall of Inkopolis Tower, where the Great Zapfish used to lie, before all of the ground disappeared. They stopped, and headed south of the former Plaza.

"Y'know, I always wondered where that kid went." Sheldon said."Jellyfish respawn, just like Inklings."

Marie and Sheldon kept running, making a note to hide their faces whenever someone came by. Once, on the way, Sheldon got hit by a car going 115 mph near an intersection. Thankfully, his tough head kept him long enough.

At last, they made it to the neighborhood where Three reside, mostly being vacated because of some quakes in the area, the sun began to gleam towards where they were headed, messing with Sheldon's view.

When they came to Three's house, being the only plain white one out there, Marie knocked on the door. No response. Grabbing the key from her pocket, she opened the door and headed inside.

They found it to be exactly as Three left it. Not a single thing out of place.

"Well, you gotta admit, it's orderly, unlike how Four left the cabin." Marie said, looking around."If only this amount of care gave time for Three to take a bath, unlike Four, who just takes one on a whim."

Marie headed up the stairs, leaving Sheldon the rest of the expansive first floor. Since the second floor only held a hallway, the bathroom, and Three's bedroom, it was safe to say she could be up there.

Marie opened the bathroom. Nothing.

"Three couldn't be sleeping." Marie murmured to herself."Then again, she's probably just unpacking."

Marie opened the door...

It was exactly like the rest of the house, down to the last speck. Three's pajamas lay on her perfect sheets, as if nothing happened here in years. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

Marie looked underneath the bed for signs of Three's Hero Shot, to no avail, as it was missing from it's case.

"Huh." Marie said."That means she's either on parole already, or...or...or.."

Marie looked down, she swore she felt something resembling liquid from the ground. But when she looked down, all she could find were the sun's gleams...

And portions of Three's cape, coated in greenish-blue ink, the sun's rays revealing certain properties and appearances Marie had never seen in ink.

"Sheldon..." Marie said."Get in here."

Sheldon came with no time to spare, using his glasses to closer inspect the fabric.

"Nope, nothing I've ever seen or matched in the database." Sheldon replied.

Marie curiosity soon shifted into overwhelming concern and panic as a vital memory surfaced itself.

"Where's gramps?" Marie asked, the color on her face as drained as her voice.

Sheldon wasted no time at this question and went to Three's desk and laptop to investigate. Pulling up some tabs, Sheldon managed to find any person signed in as a *Craig_Cuttlefish* on any site. He found a few: On some recipe sites for Crab Cakes, a site filled with viruses, and...

"A chat room owned by a DJ_ Hyper Fresh." Marie said, booting Sheldon off the chair."But, who is she?"

Marie wasted no time in making an account, and signing into the chat room, which already had Four sessions on it, a fifth one under way. She logged in, and immediately went:

*Huh?*

*Hello?*

*agent 2* was fired back by a CraigCuttlefish.

Marie wasted no time in asking the big questions.

*Where are you? Where's Three?*

*We're both fine. Just protecting Inkopolis.*

Marie sighed relief, and fired with:

*I'm so glad you're Ok. Any idea when you'll be home?*

Cuttlefish responded with:

*Not Sure*

After a debacle with dinner and seaweed stew I am not writing here, Marie closed the laptop.

"Aww. Gramps is so sweet sometimes." Marie blissfully said.

"Not to be a buzzkill, but, doesn't this raise a few questions?" Sheldon meekly piped up.

Marie's face went from a wide smile into one of deep concern and thought.

"But then why is Gramps somewhere else without Three?" Marie said.

She sat in thought for a few seconds, and in a time shorter than that, shifted from concern and thought to fear.

"She did the..." Marie said, with hardly any breath.

She rose up from the chair slowly, shock in full force.

"Sheldon, grab the laptop." Marie said."We have to go find Four before he gets killed."

Sheldon obliged, the two running out of the house as fast as possible. When they reached the outside, Marie looked forward, and then up.

"We don't have time to walk." Marie spoke loudly."Sheldon, grab on. And don't let go of that laptop."

Sheldon readied himself. Marie shifted into Squid Form, and prepared for a Super Jump. Sheldon grabbed on to one of the tentacles, and held on as the duo shot to the sky, above the Two towers of Inkopolis, landing directly on the Pad in Ammo Knights, albeit with a hole in the ceiling and a derailed plane.

"Drop the laptop off, and quickly!" Marie yelled.

Sheldon obliged, putting it behind the counter, and handing Marie a charger. Catching it, they both made a dash to the door.

"Go ask Sean where he is. I'll look around the tower." Marie yelled, her worried tone becoming ever more apparent.

Sheldon ran for the truck, Marie heading in the opposite direction, until she caught a familiar face on the news. She changed direction, heading towards an oddly-haired inkling, and slapping the news from her hand. She gazed at the picture, and sure enough, it was an image of Four descending onto the broken BlackBelly SkatePark, the headline reading:

*BlackBelly Skatepark ruined as a new legend break Ranked Record; a new S+ hotshot!*

Marie attempted to read more, before Sheldon tapped her on the shoulder.

"He's at the hospital near here." Sheldon said.

Marie took no time to respond, dropping the paper, and running, her face even more in shambles with fear, concern, and tears, followed by the occasional No.

The duo headed out for the road and the Hospital across. Marie stopped sprinting and broke out into a full, desperate run.

They barged down the door, running to the receptionist.

"Joseph Four, where?" Marie yelled.

"3F, Room 303." the receptionist responded.

"Woah, is that Marie?!" One of the younger inklings said.

Marie made a sprint for the stairs, slapping everyone else away with her Charger.

Once the duo reached the stairs, they slammed the door behind them, to many inklings' dismay.

"Well, I guess we found out what happened to the kid." Sheldon said.

They made it to the Third floor before Marie responded with:

"What does it matter? We need to get to Four, lest Three get to him, and before..."

Sheldon crossed over the right corner to see what Marie was stuttering about. He began stuttering himself.

"Before...Before..."

"Oh, no, please. While I do have a plan...

I like to keep an open mind."


	9. Chapter 9: Because of You

The signs of *Rank Up:S+* rang across the tower, along with the phones of the three Japanese players who had accompanied Four. News reporters soon formed a crowd, only enhanced by the curious populace.

All of a sudden, the doors slowly opened, to reveal Four's teammates, along with the talk of the entire conference, Three.

The typical questions rung out, such as "what happened" or, well, that was really the only one.

Three smiled to the crowd, but did not say anything, and allowed the others to answer the questions for her.

For now, however, she merely tried to wane through the crowd. Once passing the majority of the people, she continued her way out, not wanting to be bothered. She used some cloth to cover up her face, and started running at full speed towards the hospital.

Once there, Three made for the receptionist, but gave her one look to signify where she was headed.

There was a knock on Four's door.

"Leave." Four said to the nurse attending him.

She obliged, walking out the door, letting Three in.

"Sorry, may I have perhaps barged into the wrong room?" Three asked."Or is this the temporary residence of Four?"

"This is." Four said haphazardly.

"Ah. Merci, my directional skills have gone haywire since our scruffle." Three responded with a smile."Pardon me, I almost forgot to introduce myself, I am Three."

"Call me Four. Joseph Four." Four responded with no caution.

Just then, another nurse came into the room, right next to where Three stood.

"Oh. I'm terribly sorry. I'll come back at a later time." she said.

"No, no, please, no need to be so considerate. You must care for the patient, after all." Three charismatically said."Four, shall I make a request for you?"

"The usual, madam." Four said, not minding the empty canisters on his left.

"Pardon me, but may I make a request through you, Four?" Three asked."I am simply famished after our brawl."

"Make yourself at home." Four responded.

"Thank you, sir." Three said, turning to the nurse."A poundcake for me, please."

The nurse wrote all of this down, and headed out.

"May I take a seat beside your bed?" Three asked, pulling up a nearby green chair.

"Once again, make yourself at home." Four responded.

Three smiled, and took the chair beside the exit and put it near the foot of the bed, sitting down herself.

"You have to show me some of your moves, they were simply genius." Three said.

"Can't. On specific doctor's orders not to experience too many G's, lest my soul be torn apart." Four sighed.

"Disappointing, but your show was wonderful." Three said." Truly, along with the service here at the hospital, it is all first class."

Right as Three said that, the nurse returned with a cup and a circular piece of pastry.

"Ah, speak of the devil, so too shall the angels come." Three gleefully said, kissing the hand of the nurse.

Three bid the nurses farewell.

"Now, let us get down to business." Three said, turning to Four.

"Business about what?" Four said, granting himself a hint of concern.

Amiss to Four's question, Three asked,"The nurses here are fluent in inkish, correct?"

Four's hint turned into a clue.

"Y-yes." Four responded.

"I daresay you know how to keep a conversation secret?" Three asked.

"Y-yes." Four said again.

"If it suits your fancy, seeing as you are the roommaster, after all..." Three began in inkish.

"May we continue this conversation in English?" Three finished in that language.

Four's expression immediately shot up at this notion.

"I-I don't know that language." Four shakily responded in inkish.

The grin and gaze from Three when she first spoke in English deepened as his facial expressions changed.

Four went for the fork by Three's poundcake, but Three immediately grabbed it, along with a piece of a poundcake, and shoved it in Four's mouth very subtly.

"Tut-Tut-Tut." Three gently whispered, pointing at the nearby camera.

Once Four finished the bite, he responded with,"I-I suppose that would be ok."

In perfect English.

"Wonderful." Three responded."It is lovely to find another English speaker. Where did you get the degree for it, may I ask?"

"Woomsford." Four responded, gulping."I-I only have a basic understanding of the language and Human Arts, seeing as I f-failed my Doctorate in it."

Three smiled at this notion.

"Did you? I remember a particular sauna visit the day of your final." Three responded."Then again, I hardly have any time to bathe, I have so much work to do, you see."

Four couldn't connect the dots on what this Three was, but knowing she was a threat, her motives remained unclear.

"Oh, no. Please don't let that take away from your accomplishments." Three said airily."Having a Master's at the ripe age of 18 is nothing to scoff at."

Four just kept looking at her, shocked.

"Oh? Perhaps another assumption?" Three said."Pardon me, I need to work on that. Perhaps you got it...

Three's tone shifted from a polite woman to one of stoic nature as fast as her physical feats were.

From a friend?"

Four's face stayed constant with his shock. Three looked at this with an iota of dissatisfaction, but it soon withered away.

"There I go again with my assumptions. Silly me." Three sighed."But, is it safe to assume you have no idea what I am discussing? I'd hate to make the mistake of assuming one last time."

Four couldn't hold his breath anymore, and gasped, subtly nodding in the process.

"Good, good. Glad we're on the same page, then." Three said."You see, I am on the lookout for any threats to my future endeavors, and your friend Dan's many devices will hinder that notion, so I'm destroying them."

Four stayed in the same facial expression, sweat starting to pour down harder than the Pokemon fanbase after every reveal trailer.

"Alas, it seems that you are no use in this quest of mine, so I'll suppose I'll just ask one of your friends, if you even have one." Three coyly said, grinning."Oh, dear me. I assumed again. What was that employer girl's name again, Mari.."

Four didn't even have to hear the entire sentence.

"STAY AWAY FROM HE..." Four began, rising up from his bed, attempting to throw a punch, before being quickly silenced by Three.

"My, my, is that an iota of concern?" Three asked, slightly shocked."Didn't know you had it in ya. But all the same, it doesn't matter. You lot are so predictable."

"Wha-what does that mean?" Four yelled.

"Enjoy the rest of your life behind bars for attacking Inkopolis' 'star'." Three said."But don't worry, I'm good at shortening lifelong sentences. Now, if I may, we really should be switching back to Inkish."

Four thought about responding, but shut his mouth after analyzing the situation.

"Oh! Dearest Me! What did I ever do to deserve this?" Three said, as dramatically as possible in inkish."Well, I really ought to head out now."

Four got up fully out of his bed this time.

"I honestly don't know what you see in Marie, and what she'll ever see in you." Three scoffed."God, you're even sadder up close."

"At least I don't need an entire DLC campaign just to regain popularity that you stole from me." Four sneered.

"Ah! A fourth wall break! I love those." Three responded."But like with you and Marie, you can't get your popularity stolen if you didn't have it in the first place. I bid you and your disgusting yellow Arrivederci!"

Three walked out of the room, the sweat from Four's face finally colliding with the cold ground.

* * *

"Y-You. What did you do to Four?" Marie yelled.

"Yeesh. For an old comrade in arms you greet poorly." Three asked."Gonna have to retract that statement with Four, though."

"Answer the question!" Marie yelled.

"Calm down, grandma. Nothing." Three scoffed."He gave me everything I wanted on his own accord."

"W-what does that mean?" Marie asked, raising her charger.

"Nothing of your concern, and you're not of mine." Three said, walking slowly past her.

The two just stood there, as if chains kept them there. When Three finally left the hallway, Marie burst into Four's room.

"Oh good, you're ok." Marie said in a stoic tone."Tell me everything."

"Would love to, but I can't." Four said."A bunch of Hospital staff are now after my head. We'll meet up soon."

Four then ran out of the room, and jumped out of the nearest window, to the faint sounds of 'there he is' trailing him.

Four thought fast, grabbed a car, and made for the outskirts of the city.

* * *

"Yo, Dan, open up." Four yelled, knocking at the metal door. It opened instantly.

Four found a metal wreck. Papers, electric gadgets, and liquids laden the ground. The couch was completely destroyed.

"Yeesh. What a wreck." Four thought, following the light that led to...

"The bathroom?" Four thought.

Four broke down the door, only to find the walls to be splattered with liquid and Dan's head in the toilet. He yanked Dan's head out of the toilet, only to find an empty milk jug along with some strange liquid in it.

Dan didn't even speak, but just began throwing up in the nearby bathtub. For 15 minutes. And then he went unconscious.

"Hey, you're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?" Four started as Dan regained consciousness.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Dan retorted.

"Yeah, and I don't." Four snapped."Why the hell does this place look like a crack house?"

"Oh. Some 16 year old gave me a milk jug full of LSD." Dan responded.

"Why?" Four said back.

"Dunno. Probably a tech freak, like that Hermit crab guy." Dan said."Had a neon suit, to boot."

"Oh, must be Three." Four sneered.

"You know the kid?" Dan started.

"Yeah, she's trying to destroy your tech, or whatever." Four said, beginning to sound bored.

"Wait, WHAT?" Dan yelled, getting up."Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I just learned about it!" Four yelled back.

"It's ok." Dan sighed."Most of my tech is locked up somewhere where only I can go. But, just in case, I'll scan the room."

Dan warped in a strange looking ball, and flung it into the corner of the room. It did some weird stuff with lasers, and then went back into his hand.

"Let's see, nothing stolen but... Oh shit." Dan moaned."The thing that rewinds time is gone."

"I thought it was still a prototype." Four yelled.

"Yeah, a prototype that can screw with the Space-Time continuum." Dan retorted.

"Well then, from the glorious reality warper, getting it back should be easy." Four yelled back.

"That's not the problem." Dan said back."I can't traverse dimensions on my own, and the others are too caught up with work, so I have to wait for some dimensions to line up so some portal halfway across the universe can open up so I can go fight some guy with a rock that controls time. That's the reason I deterred a space warp, because the Speed Lord is coming to pick me up, and there is no way in hell I can fight what's out there on my own."

"And?" Four yelled.

"And it closes in 15 minutes, you moron." Dan yelled back.

"Which means?" Four said.

"Which means you're on your own." Dan responded.

"Well, whatever. Destroying it has no implications on the timeline, right?" Four sighed.

"I mean, nothing I or someone else couldn't fix." Dan said."But still, I spent a good week on that project."

"Then it's settled! You fight your rock demons, and I go do nothing." Four gleefully said.

"Fine." Dan said.

"Oh yeah, I came for another reason." Four interrupted abruptly.

"What?" Dan said.

"Because of said girl, I am now a fugitive. Any help with that?" Four asked.

Dan warped in a fake mustache.

"Your species are a bunch of morons who can't tell a squid from an octopus. This is fine." Dan responded hurriedly.

Four ran outside and super jumped his way back into the city.

* * *

"Marie, I'm home." Four yelled.

Four stumbled into the confines of the small cabin to find Marie and Sheldon with a map on his bed.

"Well, it's about time you showed up." Marie responded.

"Look, I was helping what is the equivalent of God in this universe get over drug addiction. He even gave me this bottle of vodka as thanks!" Four said back.

"That doesn't matter, we need to find out what to do next." Marie said.

"Why?" Four responded."Dan's place is under lockdown, and last time I checked, I beat Three."

"Oh yes, when you got yourself slammed into a skatepark and won because of time." Marie snarked.

"All that means is that her skills aren't as cranked up as we were led to believe." Four sneered back.

"That's not the point, you moron." Marie snapped."If you burst one more time, you're dead meat. Three just left you, and by extension us, at a huge disadvantage, all because you couldn't stay away from your precious S+ until you saved the zapfish."

"How could I have known this would happen?" Four retorted.

"Y'remember when I said that the city was about to run out of power 2 months from now?" Marie said."How long ago was that?"

"I..Good point." Four sighed a sigh of defeat.

"What do you even have to do at all, much less more importantly than this?" Marie stated.

"Ok, so you know how the year is apparently 13,019 in human years, right?" Four started."And Dan's been feeding the general inkling population the human media from 1,100 years ago, right?"

Four turned towards the fourth wall.

"Which is kind of asenine because this takes place 2 years from the start of the first splatfest of Splatoon 1, which means that it should be around 2016-2017 equivalent, and..." Four started.

"THE POINT." Marie yelled.

"It's around November in human months right now." Four started.

"AND?" Marie yelled, her face twitching.

"The new Pokémon games are out!" Four yelled with a grin.

Marie said nothing, but began to bash her face into the nearest wall for a full minute. In the meanwhile, Sheldon piped up from the back.

"Pardon the interruption, but what does that have to do with our current predicament?" he stated.

"Because I gotta catch em' all!" Four stated smugly."Speaking of which, I need to go pick it up."

Four ripped open his squid phone, before Marie threw a rock at Four.

"Yeowch, what was that for?" Four started.

"First off, for you being an idiot." Marie started."Second off, all of your online accounts are being tracked, so only hard G's and food tickets will work without you being arrested. They saw me there, too, so they're interrogating me as a potential accomplice, along with Sheldon. We don't have any money. Thanks for that, you ill tempered brat."

"So, what do we do now?" Sheldon asked.

"Hold on, I know a place where we can make some G's and food tickets." Four butted in."What about that shady place behind your manhole?"

"You mean Grizz. Co?" Marie responded."You might be on to something."

"Bingo." Four said."Once we have enough food tickets and G's, we get the new Pokémon games, and wait for Dan to come back so he can clear our names."

"Wha- no." Marie started."What about the city running out of power didn't register?"

"That's what the zapfish we've been hoarding is for!" Four started.

"Just..head to bed." Marie said."And leave your uniform out, I have to wash it. Along with this entire cabin."

"Alright." Four started, before heading to his bed, taking his uniform off.

* * *

Later that night, while Four was sleeping, Marie was picking up all of Four's mess.

"Mind if I help?" Sheldon said as he burst in.

"No thanks, I prefer to clean myself, to make sure everything is up to my standard, no offense." Marie retorted.

"None taken." Sheldon said back.

He turned to Four.

"You know, it would be easier to just boot him out, and do this yourself." Sheldon said."Your skill in turf war are far beyond his."

Marie sighed.

"I wish." Marie said back."But my schedule is too packed. And something about him. Yes, he's horribly lazy. But he carries a charisma with the actions he has. He's quick as a whip, to boot. I dunno, he just brings a certain Chaotic Good charm in my life."

"Then why haven't you told him about Callie yet?" Sheldon responded.

"I don't know..." Marie absentmindedly said."Anyway, I'm done. I'll head home now."

* * *

Four woke up in the middle of the night for some reason, in a sweat.

"Yeesh. It's so hot in these parts." Four thought to himself, before heading out to catch a nightly breeze.

He grabbed his bottle of vodka, and went out into the front porch.

"Mind if I join you?" Sheldon asked from nearby."It's been busy upgrading all of your things.

"Not at all." Four said."Come, I'll pour you a drink."

"None for me, thanks." Sheldon responded.

After a minute of silence and getting comfortable, Sheldon began the conversation.

"You seem to be so confident that everything will work out in the end." Sheldon asked."Why is that?"

"I don't really know." Four responded."Going on my whims with no responsibility just makes me happy."

"Then why stick around here?" Sheldon asked."I've looked through your record. You can easily hold down an easy job, and I've already told you about Marie's skills in turf war."

"To be honest, I don't really know, either." Four exclaimed."I guess it's just really comfortable around here."

"You have the deed to the cabin, right." Sheldon asked."So, why not just boot Marie out of it? Doesn't she give you the most work?"

"I wish." Four said back."But I honestly can't live without her convenience. And something about her. Yes, she's horribly bossy. But she carries a charismatic order and proper goals wherever she goes. Trust me, I've lived like this for my whole life, as in with the wind. I suppose it's nice to have a constant in that."

"Y'know, Marie said the opposite when I talked to her earlier." Sheldon said.

Four just giggled.

"Poetic." Four sneered."Ooh. Did you get any of Marie's deets, like interests or whatever."

"Honestly, Marie's so caught up with picking up after other people that she hardly has any of her own." Sheldon sighed.

"Too bad." Four sighed."Anyway, I'm heading back in."

Four took a swig of vodka and did as he said.

* * *

"So this is the place, huh?" Marie asked Four, looming over the orange sign.

"I suppose so." Four retorted, as they both headed in.

Four and Marie took off the cosmetics that disguised them.

"You know who we are, right?" Four asked the radio.

"Yeah. Let's cut the tutorial and get straight to profresh, shall we?" The radio responded."Take the map, and go."

The duo put their cosmetics back on, and did as instructed.

Once they got there, they saw two other inklings, one looking like he was about to disconnect, and one with the new trend of weird hair.

"Alright, you all know the gist. Get gold eggs." the Radio said."Now, GET TO WORK."

The four got onto the boat towards the nearby Salmon spawning grounds, and prepared for the worst. Around halfway there, Four began to grow bored of the green, polluted waters, and tuned the radio.

"Do you mind playing some music while we work?" Four asked.

"We already do." the Radio yapped back.

"Yeah, but it sucks." Four sneered.

"Fine. What do ya want." the Radio yelled.

"Do you have Ballroom Blitz by Sweet?" Four asked.

With no response, the song began. It looped once before the crew reached the shore, and super jumped into action.

"Ew. A Jr." Marie said.

"Not a roller." Four moaned."I can never get it to vertical flick when I want it to."

*Are you ready, Steve?*

The group began to ink their surroundings, except for Four, who opted instead to ink a wall over a death pit.

*Alright Fellas...*

The sound of The Radio's and Ballroom Blitz' "Let's Go" synced up beautifully.

The Tide finished rising as the inkling near the corner poofed out of existence.

The salmon began to head out, the big ones showing up in full force.

Until 2 steel eels appeared.

*Oh I see a man in the back-as a matter of fact, his eyes as red as the sun*

"What the hell do we do?" The dead Inkling asked.

*OH. It was like lightning.*

With no hesitation, Marie grabbed two bombs, throwing one at the life saver.

As soon as the pace picked up for the song, the bomb was about to blow, but Marie put it behind him.

*And it turned into a ballroom blitz!*

Marie was launched at full force towards the nearby Steel Eels, whom she used Four's roller on to skate past, leaving a bomb to destroy the end of it, jumping to a nearby Fly Fish, destroying him with his own torpedoes, and grabbing the rest, skating back to the basket.

Marie wasted no time at this notion and used her quick eye to throw one past a Steel Eel to destroy it, then launched the other torpedoes in the spot to specifically kill as many as possible.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Four asked.

The group made a mad dash to put all of the golden eggs into the basket as they could. By the time the Salmon regrouped, the round was over.

The Three breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ok, this music selection is getting old." Marie yelled.

"Fine, but no inkling music." Four yelled back.

"Radio Man, play Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones" Marie asked."I know Four likes that one."

"You're damn right it do." Four yelled.

The tide began to recede along with the baskets and the *Hey ho, let's go*s.

The group was immediately met with a bunch of large Salmon, Steel Eels on both sides, along with a horde of Small Fry.

"Gonna need that roller, Marie." Four asked.

Marie gave it to him, and he grinned.

He waited until they made their way to the conjunction, then made his play.

*They're forming in a straight line*

Four skated along, killing many small fry, and attracting the Steel Eels' attention. He lured them, and all of them, towards the basket, then, once fully there, he made it back, and made a mad dash for the Sting Rays building up by the shore. Then he stopped, taunting the Steel Eels. They tried to make a move on him, but they could not.

They were stuck together, their ends hanging out where Marie was.

Marie took the sign, and blew the two to kingdom come as they broke out. The path that they were on inked a good portion of the path back, along with killing many a minor enemy.

The three then began to slot in the eggs, and luckily it was just enough to pass them.

"Alright, my turn." the strange haired inkling piped up."Mr. Grizz, play Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin."

The tide began to rise again, so the three retreated. I think we all watched Thor:Ragnarok plenty, so I won't bother typing out the song.

The day strangely switched to night, and 2 lasers fell on Four.

"Grillers! Run!" The radio exclaimed.

Four wasted no time in this, and booked it towards the spot he inked. He barely made the jump, but he was safe from the grills coming in hot with Small Fries.

"Shit, Four's OOC." Marie said, before noticing the funky haired inkling got killed.

"Use the bomb technique to revive the other guy, then launch towards them and use the roller!" Four said."But wait, we need to make sure no one else spawns."

So that's what they did. Waited and deterred some small fry until the timer hit 20.

Marie then did as she was told, and destroyed both Grillers in one fell swoop.

"Well shit, what now?" Four yelled."We don't have enough time to slot all of them into the basket!"

The other 'inkling' was freaking out, but Marie was perfectly calm.

"Four, get rid of the Small Fry. The other guy, help me slot them in. Use the ramps, it should be faster."

And they did exactly that, managing to slot in the last egg without a second to lose.

The three super jumped back on the boat, and threw their hats up, before the boat moved, and cheered.

Except for Four, who went from being the loudest cheering of the group, to being dead silent.

He noticed the unusual pattern on the other 'inkling's' hair.

Four wasted no time at this notion, and immediately slammed his fist through the other's gut, grabbing his soul, and tying it up to a life raft, throwing it out to sea.

"W-what the hell was that for?" Marie yelped in shock.

"Didn't you notice?" Four asked."He was an Octoling spy. Look at the hair."

"Too bad." Marie said."He seemed such a kind soul, too."

"I wouldn't count on it." Four retorted.

The music cut, and the ride back was dead silent.

Once Four and Marie made it back to Grizz. Co., they had to explain that the third guy was actually a terrorist, so the Radio gave them extra for the positive PR.

"So now we actually have enough food to last the week." Four said.

"Yeah." Marie whispered back.

A sudden jolt just hit Four's thoughts, and he ran as fast as possible towards the nearest electronics store.

"Be back for dinner!" Marie yelled.

* * *

"You're late. Dinner was 15 minutes ago." Marie snided.

"Yeah, but it was for a good reason." Four sneered.

"Yeah,yeah, just show me the game." Marie demanded.

"What game?" Four questioned, showing Marie the portable Oscilloscope he bought.

"You wanted zapfish, right? I noticed something about the Zapfish barriers, and it's that they're electrical." Four said."This should help us track them."

"Hmm. Good plan." Marie said."You've got your priorities in order."

Marie grinned, pulling a copy of Pokémon Shield out of her pocket.

"But I clearly don't." Marie said, smiling.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Four yelled."Start up the game!"

"Let's not stay up too late."Marie assured Four.

* * *

Four woke up to the typical view of blue sky and bird, but couldn't move, as Marie was smack dab on his shoulder, asleep. The game was still running, too.

Four couldn't remember what happened last night, all he knew was that the bottle of vodka was empty.

He shrugged at this notion, and moved Marie's head towards a nearby pillow.

Once outside, he noticed Sheldon, already hard at work finishing the weapon upgrades Marie asked for.

"Salutations, Four!" Sheldon said with gusto.

"Hey, uh, Sheldon, can you help me work the oscilloscope?" Four asked.

"Sure thing! I'll have the location of the next zapfish in no time!" Sheldon said with even more enthusiasm, somehow.

"Great. I'm heading over to Dan's to get some more alcohol." Four sleepily said.

Four entered the manhole, ending up back in the Plaza, walking towards Ammo Knights to grab the keys to the truck, when something caught his eye.

A bruised but still functioning laptop.

Four took no concern for privacy and delved right in. All he saw was a dinky chat room and a site that was filled with malware.

Four had fun looking through the logs, but he didn't find anything useful, just some rando named Eight doing some arbitrary tests, and for some reason Pearl from the News was on here. No idea why, but the interactions with Craig Cuttlefish were hilarious.

Four got bored and looked deeper, recovering some logs from the old days of the SS.

"All in all retrieved: 54 Zapfish." Four said, reciting the text on the screen, before Sheldon barged in.

"What are you doing with Three's laptop, Four?" Sheldon asked.

"Wait, this is Three's?" Four retorted.

"Y-yes." Sheldon responded."Anyways, I managed to dig up all of the zapfish the Octarians are using: all 27."

"Wait, 27?" Four asked."The log says here that there are 54."

"Maybe the Octarians missed a few?" Sheldon awkwardly said.

"I doubt it." Four retorted."Sheldon, find out the missing Zapfish reports from after 2015. I'm going to go get my alcohol."

And so, without a word, the two made their separate directions for truth and booze.

* * *

Four busted open the door with no hesitation, and headed towards the metal fridge full of exotic alcohols. Hell, there was one Four wasn't certain of, but it tasted like a mix of pineapple juice and bleach.

He grabbed two bottles of the same brand of vodka and slammed the fridge, when a curious letter fell out, covered in the same strange substance the Octarian base was covered in.

"Meet me at Woomsford Institute, from your room 3 years ago." the letter read.

Four wasted no time at this notion, grabbed his alcohol and keys, and made for Woomsford, which was halfway across the county, through dirt, and well, that was really about it.

Once at the institute, Four wasted no time simply barging in, and, seeing as his class was smack dab near the entrance, he went in to a large showroom.

"Alright, Three, come out now." Four snobbishly said."Delaying the inevitable is my thing, now come here and let me kick your ass."

"Three? Hmph, so that's what his name was."

"Oh goddamit." Four moaned."Whaddya want, tim?"

All of a sudden, an inkling with a overly colorful tuxedo came rolling down the hand holds

"The name's Splat tim now, and ya best learn to keep it in ya noggin." tim sneered.

"As our old professor once said, 'fuck you, you pretentious dick.'" Four recited.

"And look where he ended up." tim exclaimed, grabbing his cane."Anyways, that's beside the point. All I got is a present and a message."

"Signed photographs of your ass aren't presents, tim." Four grinned.

"Ha! That's hilarious, buddy." tim said, patting Four on the back."No, it's your Phd in human history."

"As much as I would love to believe that that was sarcasm, that isn't you." Four sterned up."Explain."

"The message and the present tie in together, you see." tim exclaimed, tossing his cane and grabbing it."We got word of your debate with a certain 11 year old on human music, and since you presented quite the thesis, we at the council submitted it, and you're a doctor now."

"Cool. I don't care." Four said in the most snide fashion imaginable.

"Oh, but your criminally poor ass is going to love this." tim grinned."See what I did there?"

"As much as I see your blue, homoerotic suit, you disgusting pimp." Four sighed, patting tim on the back.

"Anyway, TL;DR, half of all human researchers are under government control, and the other are dead." tim said."Except my team, we exist in the best of both worlds, like my ass crack."

"We get it, you're an ass person, now please elaborate before we vomit." Four turned to the fourth wall, giving a 'look at this guy' expression.

"There's some ruins infested with Salmon, and right now you're the only one good enough at turf to get anywhere near that place with the skills to dissect it." tim sighed.

"God dammit, it's been nonstop work with you people. I need a break." Four moaned.

"So, welcome aboard, Doctor Four." tim slyly grinned.

* * *

"Got it, we move at night." Marie exclaimed to tim.

"Can we do it tomorrow?" Four whined." I need my alcohol time."

"We already went over this, and no, we cannot." Marie frustratedly exclaimed.

"Well, I'll leave you two old lovebirds to it. Ciao!" tim said, walking into the manhole.

"Grab your things, Four, cuz we're going Salmon hunting." Marie coldly exclaimed.

"Whuzzat?" Four yelled, his voice muffled by a bottle of vodka.

"I hate you." Marie said.

And so they took their things, and made for the flying truck, passing the dock, their old workplace, and eventually...

"Ark Polaris." Marie whispered."Says here on the file."

Four was already asleep the moment they got on the truck.

"Oh, for god's sake." Marie said, grabbing his squid pod, waking Four up with a loud rendition of Spice Girls.

"I'm up. I was always up." Four said, rubbing his eyes.

"We're here, you idiot. Do your thing." Marie ordered.

Four wasted no time at this notion, grinned, and headed to the massive stone platform. Noticing an opening, Four went inside to find a massive ladder, and what appeared to be a gigantic neon blender for walls, alongside an elevator.

"Marie, you seeing this?" Four talked to his microphone to find no response.

Four shrugged it off and used the elevator and rails to reach a dead, unlit station system with a singular power egg supplying the entire thing.

"Weird, could've swore one of those doesn't give off that much energy." Four shrugged, taking a photo.

Going deeper, he found some sort of tower with unactivated mechanical pins, some dark corridor, a massive structure full of water and frozen stuff that Four used to get down, and two more open corridors, until he reached a dead end.

Seeing a window down there, Four gulped, yelled "Gernomino" and leaped down in a feet first torpedo position to break the glass open.

Once he was there, he saw some sort of train station, though without an active train, some lockers, and a strange telephone resembling the old phone in the Cabin.

What was more interesting, however, was that on said phone, was a missing poster depicting Three almost perfectly, save for the hair and eye color.

Four took no time to gawk, and instead took a photo. The photo was perfect, depicting the poster to the best detail, save for one..

"Glowfly?" Four wondered, before he was hit by a swarm of them.

"Wait..." Four thought before clicking.

Four wasted no time at this notion and super jumped back up to the corridor to find raining salmon coming towards him, building up underneath. He super jumped past the two corridors, booting any unfortunate salmon to land on the floating platform. Once to the dropping platforms, Four just super jumped his way from platform to platform, booting off more salmon. Speeding like a torpedo through the dark corridor, and using the ink jet to make his way past the tower, he found himself back at the dark platform powered by an egg, which he ignored and used instead the strange rib like things to super jump past.

Once he got back to the elevator, he railed to it, only to find his world shook by the horde of salmon on in. Four gulped and rode. On the rails, he prepped some bombs, which took out a chunk of salmon, but not nearly enough. Four kept on until he got there, fist fighting the rest.

Once the elevator reached a certain point, Four grabbed one of the Salmon, stopped fending them off, and allowed the one directly below the ladder to hit him on the back, shooting him up. Once at the vertex of his flight, Four let go of the other Salmon's arm, which he then used to knock Four even higher, barely to the bottom of the ladder, just as the elevator was consumed by a bottomless ocean of Salmon. Four then brought out his last charged bomb, which shot him all the way up to the truck, with Marie grabbing him by the unconscious hand just as he was about to fall to the platform of Salmon below.

* * *

"Gramps was lying?" Marie asked."But why? Are you sure you didn't get anything else?"

"Listen, Marie, the exterior may look like an 1800's masterpiece or something, but the interior is more like Dan's tech." Four responded."Other than the fact that they can use one power egg for an entire platform, I got nothing, save for the blender look of the place."

"I looked it up, Four, and you were right." Sheldon responded."The same amount of missing zapfish from before."

"So Three's stealing Zapfish from the octarians, but why?" Marie asked."She's capable of extracting so much energy from just one egg."

"It's not the structure, that's for sure." Four retorted."It's solar powered, judging from the roof of it."

"Other than the cloth we got from her house, we're at another dead end." Marie explained.

"Why are we even wasting our time with this?" Four impatiently yelled."If we get Three now, we'll interrogate her later."

"Four, we can't just rush in to this situation where we have no idea what to expect!" Marie yelled."That's suicide."

"I took care of Three once, and I've only improved since." Four retorted."If it makes you feel better, I'll take the Time Cutter for a test run."

"Last time you won because of time out, and she put you in a hospital." Marie said back."Face it Four: you're out of your league."

"First of all: I am not." Four retorted."Second off: We have more advantages than we can count: surprise, the Time Cutter, hell, even numbers if you wanna accompany me."

"No." Marie said back."We're waiting, and that's final, unless you want to die."

"Fine, then." Four coldly said."Swap Three and me, and it'll be a future sig..hey, that rhymed."

Four scoffed, and took his stuff to go meet Three at the Octo Oven arena.

* * *

"Well, I'm here, so I better find Three fas...Marie?" Four asked.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll go with your plan." Marie unenthusiastically sighed."Now, go beat that slimy rouge the hell up."

Four grinned, and went in. The place was utterly covered in the same green goop, along with bits and pieces of the Octo Oven about.

"Guess he should have been Bready for an attack,eh?" Marie asked.

"Go fuck yourself." every player and viewer ever said.

But not Four, he noted that the zapfish was still there.

Four grinned, and took off to grab it, before an all too familiar swoosh came from the back.

It was, of course, Three.

"Uh, Marie, was it natural for Three to have a massive green tentacle on her headset?" Four asked."That's coming from her eye socket?"

"No, this is new, and gross." Marie said with a shudder.

"Oh, no please, don't be startled." Three bowed."It's merely like stretching your arms and legs in the morning, you have no idea how long I have had to keep this cooped up."

"So a trap, eh?" Four sneered. He would have continued if not for Three's gaze and presence shutting him up immediately.

"Yes, my dear friend, a trap." Three scoffed."How did I know, you may ask?"

"I didn't eve.." Four started, but was interrupted.

"I didn't! That's the best part!" Three exclaimed with joy."But then again, would I really?"

Four wanted to crack a joke, but he tried and just ended up biting his lip.

"Clever distancing trick with your bomb there, Four." Three grinned."You haven't changed at all, you."

"Four, do something!" Marie whispered through Four's speaker.

"Marie, not now. The big people are talking." Three scoffed.

"Well, truth is.." Four said, dipping his hand in a puddle of his own ink."Of course this would be a trap, but what the hell, call me Mario faced with a Chain Chomp three times his size."

"No one is going to understand that." Three raised her inkling replacement for an eyebrow.

"Because I function best on a sprin..Nevermind." Four sighed, throwing two bombs in Three's direction, which she dodged easily.

"So, what master plan do you have cooking, Four?" Three scoffed."Or are you just going to bore me, like last time."

"This is why you always lose, Three." Four mustered up the courage to say."Because you never learn from loss."

Three grinned, before getting hit in the back by a glazing machine. Four used that ink to submerge himself and get a full ink tank.

Three, meanwhile, walked to the exit slowly as to avoid the incoming glazing machine.

Before getting a face full of Curling Bomb.

Three's facial expression didn't change as she jumped to a similar height as last time.

"Rehashing tricks to beat me?" Three sighed."Four, I'm ashamed."

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Four yelled before using the same super jump and auto bomb combo as always, reaching to Three's height.

Four just waited, however, for Three to make the first move, but she didn't. Then, they started to descend.

"So that's your twist, Four?" Three scoffed."Finally paying attention in class, I see?"

Once the two reached a certain point, Four opened up with a loaded bomb, which Three dismissed with her right hand, which Four restrained with his right, punching Three in the gut and immediately slamming her into the ground below.

"Four actually did it?!" Marie asked in shock.

"Defeated by her own finishing blow." Four giggled."This is poetic, kids."

"Sheldon, I really hope you...you..."Marie started, but was interrupted by Four's stuttering, and her own.

Three stood up, relatively unscathed, looking pleased.

"And there it is." Three coyly said, licking her lips.

"What?" Four asked.

"Confidence." Three answered.

"What does that have to do with this?" Four asked.

"Everything, my dear boy." Three grinned."By the way, I'm impressed! By a wide margin, you're putting up a better fight than any of your measly species can muster."

"Please, ladies, I love the attention, but the flattery will get us nowhere." Four smugly grinned.

"Ohoho! A ladies man, I like it!" Three grinned."But as you said, flattery will get us nowhere."

"Well it did, and that's why you're on the ground." Four sneered.

"But what will get us somewhere is getting you to an eye doctor, because your sight is horrible." Three laughed."You see, it seems that you're the one on the ground, and not me."

Before Four even had the time to process a response, his face was already a foot in the ground.

"W-when did you?" Four asked.

"What, I'm the bad guy of the story, you really expect me to go all out at the beginning?" Three asked."No, now I'm getting serious."

Four stood up. He had to get the lead back, so he kept throwing bombs in directions of machines, to no avail, as Three just kept catching them, looking like she just stood still.

Three just stared, getting even more amused.

Until something caught her off guard. An Auto bomb from the ground exploded.

"That was your master plan?" Three scoffed."To have an autobomb get me?"

"You clearly forgot what kind of system Octarians love to move through, Three." Four scoffed back.

Three began to laugh for an undisclosed amount of time...

Until she was shut up by a puff of ink smoke, which then proceeded to rise her off the ground.

Four could swear he heard the noise of "Impressive!" from Three's muffled voice, as the ink cloud brought her higher.

Three chuckled, and dismissed the air in an instant.

Then getting hit in the face with a string, which then hit her in the face with a back bomb, shooting her towards Four, who shot her twice with the pistol, and, as soon as she drew near, gave her an immediate flurry of Octobrush Stabs, knocking her next to the entrance.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Three yelled, dismissing all near ink and rubble.

"What's wrong?" Four taunted."Judd got your tongue? Or have I got your body?"

"Like a caterpillar evolves into a butterfly, you, Four, have evolved into a nuisance." Three coldly scoffed."One that I can't afford to battle here any longer."

Three looked down, and punched every portion of Four's body in an instant.

Four fell to the ground in serious pain.

"I don't get it!" Marie yelled."He had her on the ropes twice!"

"Of course you don't, Marie." Three began to get irritated.

Three simply stood over Four.

"I've had my fun." Three sighed."Time for the climax."

Four flinched, getting ready for the worst.

Three just grinned.

"For a moment there, you actually thought you could beat me, didn't you, Four?" Three grinned."Even past my warning of getting serious, you thought that just because you got me on the ropes once means your hot shit, right?"

Four just muffled.

"There it is, all of that sweet, juicy confidence, all sapped away." Three sighed."Oh, it is a pleasure in this part. Just wished it could have lasted longer."

Four had enough. He brought out the Time Cutter.

Three grinned.

"Alas, just as you were born in a snap, you-

* * *

_**Four shot all of his energy into the Time Cutter, but it proved too much. He collapsed on the floor in agony.**_

* * *

-Three lay her hand, finished with her snap.

She then shook her head in disbelief, but then into a joyous smile.

"Hmm? Well, this certainly got a bit more interesting." Three said.

Four just groaned in silence.

"Fine, kid, I'll let you live." Three scoffed."But know this: Tomorrow, you will be a dead man."

"Why?" Four asked."How?"

"You still don't get it, do you?" Three smiled."That's what I love about you, Four. You're the best of your species."

"That doesn't answer my question." Four sneered.

"Shut up and it will." Three said."As the best of your species, you represent everything like a good one. Loathsome, not a shred of work ethic, ethic in general, morals, or care. Running head first into fights you can't win, disregarding anything and everything, and passing that responsibility on like the other person isn't even there. For example, tell me: Do you know why multiverse travel is outlawed?"

Four just groaned heavily at this aspect.

"Because it alters the timeline, right?" Three smiled."And what did you up and do? Do it anyway. I have a question: Does Ranger know?"

"Know what?" Four asked.

"Well, he won't know anything anymore, seeing as, well." Three kept smiling.

"W-wha? When? Why?" Four asked.

"What business did you think Dan was talking about?" Three sighed."You practically gave the location of Ranger and the Fact that he's alive when you gave your name. Now tell me: Do you want to know why I'm here?"

"Y-yes." Four quietly said, Three pulling his head by the hair.

"That answer coincides with another question: Why did it take you two years to get back home?" Three smiled."Because you're unfamiliar with how Universe travel works. But you used to. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that you came back in 2015 and congratulated yourself on a job well done. But one atom flew off course, leading to the opening of my chamber. You realized this, and ran off with your posse to stop me. Of course, this was in 2 years, with you getting recruited by the SS. And guess what: I took over the same body, and you failed miserably."

"So because I failed.."Four started.

"I'm here." Three finished."But at every interval, taking the hearthstone, the future, it all lead to one answer."

"You're here.."Four started.

"Because of you. Always." Three finished."And you wanna know why? Everyone tries and sacrifices, hell, even Dan, the mess that he is, at 15 years old with an IQ of 91, armed with nothing but a laser cannon beat the Speed Lord, multiple elementals, multiple psychics, and NoobMaster69 armed with the Time Stone. Everything that your ancestors have done, they have done with care and conviction. But not your people. Consequences that aren't short term fly over your head. You give an ounce of thought to everything that you do, and, well, It's only a matter of time before that strips you of everything and one you love."

"No..."Four mumbled.

"No?!" Three responded."Look around, because of these respawners, houses are destroyed, the economy is in shambles, and 90% of inklings duke it out instead of working, leaving the 10% of actual workers to suffer. Cars are totaled every day, kids are mugged every day, and what do you, the one with the power to change that, do? Sit on your ass and play Pokemon. No, I will not make the same mistake as you."

"And what does that imply?" Four questioned.

"I'm going to show this world what it sow." Three smiled.

"So what are you planning?!" Four yelled, fully standing up now.

Three just chuckled.

"My revolution."Three answered."Check your email account some time. Arrivederci."

And with that, Three grabbed the Zapfish and flew off. But not before grabbing Four's gun.

Four just stood there, powerless at the rising sun, until he ultimately collapsed.


	10. Chapter 10: Another One Chews the Dirt

"Y'know, I kinda wonder why we didn't go to help him." Sheldon said, starting the truck.

"Now is NOT the time for this, Sheldon." Marie said in a hurry, grabbing whatever she could in the weapon closet.

The two were silent as Sheldon petaled to the metal, going to the site where Four fought Three.

Once there, Marie and Sheldon armed themselves, and kicked down the door, only to find a mess of ink and debris, with a Four a foot in the ground.

"Holy shit, Sheldon, grab him." Marie yelled, racing towards the limp body.

"We have to take him to the hospital!" Sheldon yelled.

"What the fuck, no." Marie retorted, picking up the limp Four."At least he's still alive. Any trip to a respawn point in this state would rip him apart."

The three got back on the truck, and raced back to the cabin. Once there, Marie slammed Four onto the bed and grabbed anything to patch up Four's injuries.

"What the hell do we do? I don't know medicine!" Sheldon yelled.

"I don't fuckin' know, keep patching him up until he wakes up." Marie retorted.

Suddenly, the manhole opened to reveal Sean, Splat tim, and another mystery girl.

"You really are hopeless, aren't you, Four?" tim sighed.

"Tim, what the hell are you doing here?" Marie asked.

"Helping." tim scoffed."This is Splat Tina, an accomplished trauma specialist. She's treated veterans worse than this in worse conditions, he'll be fine."

"But why the hell are you and Sean here?" Sheldon asked.

"Because you idiots are going to need all the help you can get if you're to fight that monster." tim sighed, swinging his cane some more."I gathered everyone you met in the past few months, seeing that it isn't a lot."

"So where's the radio?" Marie scoffed.

"He sent a crew to take care of Three, another to recover whatever they could from the statue." tim sighed. "God rest their souls."

The group gathered around to plan what next to do until Four could heal in the cabin.

"Oh, good, you're up." Marie sighed."And before you say anything, it wasn't your fault. I supported you through it, so it's both ours."

"No, that's not true, and not in the way you think." Four sighed."I'm leaving."

"Wait, now?" Marie said in surprise."We don't have time for that!"

"You don't have time for that." Four snapped back."I had my turn at him, and I got my ass beat."

"What does that matter?" Marie yelled.

"You don't get it yet?!" Four yelled, turning around."I thought that, me, the guy whose taken on armies and went through dimensions was the least bit qualified for this, but I faced her once and got my ass beat senseless. I tried, Marie, and failed. I failed because I can't do it. I'm not the one to take care of this society."

"And what are we supposed to do?" Marie snapped back.

"Sheldon said that you outmatch me in Turf War, make it count." Four sighed, turning around.

He then held out the Time Cutter, giving it to Marie.

"I couldn't even use that thing." Four said in dismay.

Four sighed, and headed out of the manhole, heading to Dan's lab to get more liquor.

* * *

"So we're set on the plan, then?" tim said back to the group.

"The oscilloscope doesn't lie, there's a massive horde of Zapfish deep into Octo Canyon." Sheldon responded.

All of a sudden, Marie came out of the Cabin with a piece of trash in her hand.

"Change of plans: We're all going." Marie said."We can't afford losing this, Three left without the Zapfish, so we can't afford losing this, especially since we're directly walking into her territory."

"So whose using the Time Cutter?" tina asked.

"Four said something about it draining energy, so it'll be a last ditch attack." Marie confirmed."Sheldon, store it in the truck with you. As for the rest of us: we're fighting off the ground."

"Then get in the truck." Sean confirmed.

And so they all did, Sheldon handing out newly upgraded ink tanks and weapons.

* * *

"It's getting dark. Everyone gear up." Tina said.

"Alright, I'll take the top of the truck." Marie said."Tina, you snipe her from as far as possible. Sean, take the opposite direction and man the heavy artillery. Tim, you're the forefront of Three's assault, so be extra careful. Remember to disable Three's ability to move."

"We're here, fuckers. Get into position." Tina yelled, opening the back of the truck, leaving Marie and Sheldon rising back up.

Once even Tina got into position, Tim walked forward towards the barely lit abandoned warehouse, and opened the door.

He found it to be empty, with a mere few boxes lying around, but an extravagant light shining from the next room.

With hard chills on Tim's spine, he gulped, the dryness from his mouth keeping him from talking, and ran back outside, before a cold, dead hand lay on his face.

"Vibe Check." Three coldly said, knocking Tim through multiple walls, back outside.

"So this is the posse after my head." Three yelled."I take it Four won't be joining in the festivities?"

Before she could say any more, Tim charged headfirst into Three, two bombs in his fist, throwing out a blocked punch from Three, only to uppercut her, blowing both bombs up.

"Four didn't tell you anything about me, did he?" Three smiled.

Three instinctively looked behind herself for a split second, but did nothing else.

Bringing out a pair of Dualies, Tim ran for Three, attempting to initiate a fist fight, but was blocked instantly.

It was then that Sean came in with a hail of Splatling fire from the roof, Tim following suit with a bucket, forcing Three to leap.

Tina and Marie used the opportunity to shoot, barely missing Three, but allowing Tim and Sean to follow up with another hail of Splatling fire, hitting Three dead on.

Three dropped to the ground, causing a storm of dust and debris to fly.

"Hmmph. For all of Four's hyping up, you were really pathetic." tim sneered.

"What followed was not the sound of and exploding inkling, but clapping, seeing Three get up with not a scratch on her person left the group's jaws collectively dropped.

"I think Four was underhyping me, no?" Three smiled.

"Tim, get out of there!" Marie yelled, but it was all too late.

Three already slammed a fist through tim, forcing him to explode.

"Sheldon, bring me down there." Marie coldly ordered, and he obliged.

"So, after the beasts the beauty shows herself?" Three grinned."If being a depressed grandma counts as beautiful. I'm not into politics."

Just then, Marie felt a bad case of chills down her spine, her legs moving her a step back, but she fought it as best she could.

"Why do you even choose to chase me?" Three grinned."You know, it won't bring Callie back. But hey, if you enjoy wasting time so much...

Then maybe you'll actually live long enough to see your grandpa's final moments."

That was it for Marie. She threw her charger across the many pillars just before Tina and Sean made another attempt...

Just as the charger ricochet off the left rock and fired multiple shots in every direction, closing in on Three.

Being completely cornered, Three was forced to duck, giving him a direct caking of Charger ink and an uppercut from Marie.

Marie said nothing during this. Her eyes cold and silent before her fight or flight instincts kicked back in and started to make her tremble.

"But then again, at the pace you're going, it'll be the opposite." Three chuckled."But then whose the bad guy?"

"Still you, you ignoramus!" Tina yelled, fist fulls of bombs headed straight towards Three, who shoved it down her chest.

It was at that moment that Sean's survival instincts got the better of him and he threw himself onto the flying truck.

Three just stood there, looking disappointed.

"God, you people are pathetic." Three sighed.

Marie finally noticed this, and ordered Sheldon to run.

"And you, Marie." Three turned."I do appreciate the effort. Four couldn't pull off your charger tricks in a million years. Impeccable coordination. But you will never beat me like that."

"What the hell even are you?" Marie yelled.

"A constant reminder of failure." Three said with charisma."And trust me, you've got it in spades. I mean, you brought a guy who literally tried to fistfight a girl who dodged a hail of Splatling fire. The best part is your communicator is on, so he heard that."

Meanwhile, at the Outpost, Tim bit his lip and gave the bird in dismay.

"What does that have to do with...anything?" Marie asked.

"Everything, my dear." Three smiled."You, by a long shot, outmatch Four. But you, like your worthless species, don't even have to foresight or knowledge to back it up. So next time, bid me this: a person who can stop wasting my time."

Marie bit her lip at this notion, her legs further bringing her back. She gulped, and brought out two Splat Bombs.

"A jump using Splat Bombs, very impressive!" Three remarked.

Marie sighed in silence, and launched herself directly at Three. Who dodged.

But she didn't stop there, bringing out another bomb, the last one exploding, sending her ever forward, and she kept repeating.

Until she broke into the lit room.

There she found the Zapfish, but more importantly, they were hooked up to a portal like structure.

Marie brought out her severely damaged phone and took a picture, her fingers tripping and shaking as she attempted to convey the message to Four.

Once she did, she breathed a sigh of relief, and collapsed.

* * *

Four drowned another bottle of whiskey, attempting to catch that Yamper on route 2.

He failed, a hiccuping and drooling mess, as he took another puff of pipe.

He sighed, and succumbed to the effects of the alcohol and collapsed. Only to be woken up by a massive crash outside.

"Wha-whose there?" Four stumbled towards the crash site.

"Four? FOUR?" Sheldon asked.

"Y-yeah, it's me." Four responded."Lemme get you inside."

Just then, Sean came out of the back, vomiting.

* * *

"S-so what happened? Didya kill her?" Four said, taking another shot of vodka.

"No, we got beat pretty badly." Sheldon responded.

"W-where's Marie?" Four asked.

"We dunno, we'd hope you would." Sheldon asked.

Just then, Four's phone buzzed.

"S-sorry, that's my phone getting charged to 1%." Four said as he stumbled to get it.

Once he did, he immediately noticed the image and video sent by Marie.

"Huh, looks like a dimensional por...shit." Four sighed.

Four opened the video to find Three saying some incomprehensible nonsense, but what he did get was to show up at Inkopolis Square tomorrow at 7:00 A.M and to leave it trapless or Marie would die.

"Welp, no use." Four sighed."Good luck, I guess."

"You can't be serious, Four." Sheldon said with a unique quiver of anger.

"I already told you, I can't do anything to that monster." Four responded.

"Well, then I guess Marie died for nothing." Sheldon sighed.

Four immediately sobered himself.

He just sat there, face in palms, for a good 5 minutes.

"Oh, give it a break, would ya?" Tim yelled.

He had just jumped up here with Tina, Sean coming as well.

"We all fuck up a lot, you twat." tim scowled, irritated."If we don't at least try, then what's the point?"

"Hold on there, tim." Sean butted in."I understand that, but if we try again, we will all die."

"We'll die anyway if Three succeeds." tim scowled."What the hell is the point?!"

Tim just kicked a nearby can of light liquor.

"Either way, we're going to die. I don't know what to do." tim sighed.

"I don't give a fuck anymore." Four said with a new aria of chills."This shit was started by me, and it'll end with me."

"Don't think you're going all lone wolf again." tina yelled.

"I'm not." Four said."You two are too roughed up to fight. Sean won't help here. Sheldon, we're up."

And so it was. Four and Sheldon started up the van, and drove towards the rising sun.

"Y'know, this is kind of poetic." Four said in an increasingly lighter mood."The three who started this will be the ones to end it."

* * *

The plaza was deserted. Mad alarms were ringing. Strange, yet harmless, gas laden the area.

And at it's core lie Three, grabbing a chair, a nearby straw hat, a drink, and some sunglasses to relax.

"Yeesh, talk about a late runner." Three sighed to herself.

She sat there for fifteen minutes, finally falling asleep. All too late, however, as she was awoken immediately after, by the sound of...the beginning of Centerfold by Band?

Three stood up, drew her weapon, and readied herself.

As soon as the guitar rung, Three noticed it: Sheldon's truck blaring the song with Four breakdancing while playing a guitar.

The song sang a bit, Three looking genuinely entertained, Four still breakdancing, the truck lowering, until...

The chorus hit, in which Four jumped out of the top of the truck, being soon joined by a bunch of schoolgirls, Four still break dancing, now adding some snaps.

As soon as the part about notes hit, they all passed each other blank pieces of paper, and Four started jumping on top of tables.

Once the 'nananananana' part hit, Four jumped to the wood pole and started to dance as the girls started some kick dance.

Once the song finally sounded like it was ending at the 2:49 mark, the crowd went silent, as Four began to hold up one finger, then two, then three, then four, using those four fingers to point at a drummer, who just came from the back.

The girls started to fly around paper banners as they ran, Four's dancing getting more and more intense.

As the song quieted and devolved itself to whistling, so did the crowd calm themselves, Four stopping his dancing. Once the song finished, the girls and Sheldon left, leaving Four bowing.

Three started to clap.

"Oh man, I haven't had a concert that wild since my creator showed me an AC/DC concert." Three sighed."Seeing it up close is something else."

"Thanks, I may or may not have practiced that dance for 3 hour..nevermind." Four grinned, sighing.

"So, I can only guess that you did all of this for your taste in entrances?" Three raised her equivalent of eyebrows.

"Nope." Four responded, taking a swig of vodka."I'm handicapping both of us. We have an hour."

"Ah, a timer! I thought saying that mist was Ebola would have worked." Three sighed."But this seems fun, let's handicap ourselves further."

Three ripped out her ink tank.

"Feel free to use however many you want." Three said with charisma."However, I will end this fight with one ink tank. I congratulate you if you can survive until then."

Four bit his lip a bit at that notion.

"So, who'll be the instigator?" Four asked with arrogance.

"Oh, no, I wasn't finished." Three bowed."I'll answer 3 questions of yours. Fire away!"

Four grinned cockily at this notion, trying to keep a cool, but Three's eyes got to him, and he trembled.

"Question 1: The hell are you?" Four asked with a hint of hurry in his voice.

"I thought that was self explanatory, but no." Three sighed."I am an Artificial Intelligence, created by a human some 10,000 years ago. I was unleashed by you, thanks, and assimilated myself with this girl. Or did you wanna know how the girl was made?"

"You know it." Four winked."Gimme all the crude details."

"Second Question." Three responded.

"Fine. Second Question: Why are you going through with all of this?"

"That is a good question." Three responded."My original goal was to kill you off, get Dan's tech, make an inter dimensional portal, and stay safe as this world burns. But, unfortunately, like you, I am consumed by an inkling side and desire."

"Which is?" Four raised his eyebrow equivalent.

"To watch people like you raise their hopes on life, only to watch it spiral down and slam you further into the hells of failure." Three kindly responded.

Three licked her lips.

"And you, sir, have been both the greatest example of your race, along with being the most enjoyable one to suck off of." Three sighed.

"Only if you give me a pretty penny." Four snapped.

"You are a jackass, aren't you?" Three sneered."But enough of this: I have a question: Do you actually know why Marie recruited you to the SS?"

"In a figurative way, indulge me." Four snickered.

"Classy." Three rolled her eyes."While yes, she wanted you to get the great zapfish, she needed you for another reason: to keep a level head."

Four started to open his mouth, but Three was having none of it.

"Anyways..." Three started."You do know there have to be 2 or more sisters to make the squid sisters, right?"

"How DARE you assume that just because they're labelled sisters that they actually are! That's Homophobic." Four chuckled, then burst out laughing.

"Ah yes, a homo joke coming from the most homo of the series." Three scoffed."I see what you do behind the scenes with tim."

"Hey, blame that on the poor exploration of side characters!" Four retorted in style.

"But like homo jokes, Marie too will grow old." Three sighed."She hates that, you know."

"No shit, sherlock." Four raised his eyebrow equivalent.

"No, not like that you superficial snob." Three said with an aria of charm."It's not that she chooses to stay behind, it's that she's scared."

"Scared of what? Because missions are pretty quick, they wouldn't kill her of boredom." Four responded.

"Not scared of death, no, scared of what is to come after." Three sighed."It's either she has to live with loss or die knowing others will feel that too. A failure of juxtaposition. And speaking of failures, you only have 30 minutes left."

"No, no, Three, you continue." Four interrupted.

"Very well." Three bowed."Even the mighty Marie, one of order and stoicism is an inkling nonetheless."

"And what is that supposed to imply?" Four sneered.

"Like all leeches, they cling onto life." Three sighed."You know the re-"

Three couldn't finish her sentence before Four smacked her in the face with an Auto Bomb.

"Too slow, Too slow!" Three yelled, easily brushing off the auto bomb.

Three leaped into the air like an angelic spirit, right to the top of the tower, standing there, letting her hair flow like golden wind as the clock stuck 12 and the sun's rays enveloped the figure.

* * *

Sheldon flew the truck as heavy as metal to get back to the warehouse, completely unarmed.

Once he got there, he slammed the truck right into the building in hurry, forcing himself to roll onto the floor, running to the room to see what happened.

All he found was a cold Marie on the filthy, unkempt floor.

"Marie, you are truly crazy." Sheldon sighed to himself, waking Marie up.

Touching her neck, the shock instantly sprang Marie back into action. Marie wasted no time at this notion.

"I'm going after Three, you stay here and blast that infernal gate to hell." Marie yelled, as she ran to the truck.

Sheldon, of course, was already on it, and began dislodging all of the Zapfish from their pods, and just as he dislodged the last one, the portal finally went dark.

"Ye-" said Sheldon.

Meanwhile, Marie had grabbed the truck, and petaled to the metal out of there.

Until she was blown completely off course by a horrific tornado of wind.

Struggling for control, Marie stepped on it further, hoping to get away from whatever was causing this mess.

She struggled up, rotating the wheel in whatever direction was being pulled, only to catch a glimpse of the mirror.

Marie had no time to mourn, only barely escape.

* * *

Three jumped off of the pillar, walking, the sun's rays folding around her like some etherial figure.

"I hope you got my message about not cheating, only bringing your Hero Shot." Three scolded."That said, I don't sense any traps other than the girls."

"Pays to be good PR for turning an Octoling into a donut." Four joked."Oh, and yeah."

Three smiled at this notion, but not before getting a hail mary from Four's Hydra Splatling.

Once the entire load was unloaded, he threw the hunk of steel right onto Three, who walked out of the dust slightly scathed.

"Of course, it wouldn't be fun without some cheating, now would it?" Three scoffed.

Four wasted no time at this, grinned to his opponent, and stabbed the ground with his Brush once, sinking his hand in, and popping out a spiral of Curling bombs.

In one instance, Four was doing that, in the next, Three vanished. In the next, a loose fist hitting Four in the face, sending him flying into the food truck.

A bunch of crumbs spilled onto Four's jacket, and Three was gone once more.

Four jumped out of the truck in the most over the top fashion imaginable, and was right back to where he started.

Four waited for three seconds, then felt a surge of extremely mild irritation going counterclockwise to his back.

As soon as that sensation resided, Four turned around and did a swiping motion with his Brush, hitting Three directly in the arm.

"First blood!" Four yelled.

"Impressive tracking system!" Three calmly complimented."If this was my top speed, I would be getting serious."

"I'll warn you now: Any less than your best, your soul will be put to rest." Four joked.

"Beside the rhyme, oh Four, if I had a soul, neither Heaven nor Hell would allow me to rest." Three said.

Before Four even thought of a reply, he was flat on the ground, coated in glass shards, in an unfamiliar white break room.

Four grabbed all the shards he could and started throwing them back to the crumbs, cutting Four in the process, therefore ladening the shards with ink.

"Too Predicable, Too Predictable!" Three's disembodied voice rang.

Four was knocked all over the place, totaling Grizz Co., the arcades and the stores. Not to mention the wooden tower falling over, destroying the beat arcade machine.

Four was back to center, now with extra cuts, and a changed ink color to red.

Four did the same spiraling curling bomb trick as before, splattering the place and creating a dead zone among the crumbs.

Four submerged himself here, waiting. And wait long he did not, because Three threw her ink tank to the side, and submerged herself in the red ink, looking for a surprise attack.

Much to her confusion, she was stuck. Four grabbed her legs, arising from the ink, and throwing her into the Food Truck.

"More science, I see!" Three yelled."Impressive, but too slow nonetheless!"

It was then that Four slammed the window of the car shut, and jumped back, positioning himself parallel to the edge of a rail to his left.

The truck exploded in a wave of heat and electricity, along with the remains of the pole and half of the arcade.

A square piece of metal flew by, scratching Four's head a bit.

"Really? An explosion trap? God, you really are a prime inkling, aren't you?" Three sighed in dismay.

"Vibe check." Four solemnly said.

Just then, what remained of nearby cooking chambers exploded, a buildup of gas and heat causing them to burst in a glory of screws and bolts faster than bullets.

Many of which just so happened to hit Three in the legs.

Four cringed at the agony Three was clearly experiencing by this.

"Y-you really think tha-" Three yelled, interrupted by vomiting.

Three was really trying to keep her cool, but it was evident she was getting angry. Four, on the other hand, started yelling vulgar slurs not suited for this god forsaken website, punching and kicking Three.

As Cathartic as that was for Four, however, it didn't last long, because not fifteen second after this flurry of stabs, punches, and kicks, Three got up, and twisted Four's right arm, jabbing him twice and sending him flying.

"Don't get cocky, you overzealous piece of rat dung!" Three yelled, but regained her cool.

Four was badly injured and close to bursting at this point. But, he got up anyway, and scoffed.

"Looks like we're finally on even ground, eh?" Four bluffed.

"Don't count me out yet." Three scoffed.

Three attempted to leap, but her injured legs didn't let her. She couldn't recover.

Four brought out his Brush, not being able to jump either, preparing for a fistfight.

The two ran at each other, but as soon as Three started running, she used her Hero Shot to keep Four pinned.

Four blocked every shot with his Brush, but got a face full of it when Three shoved it into him.

Four retaliated with a punch to the gut, then a sideswipe to the face, then a poke in the eye.

Three, moving back a bit, regained her cool.

She moved fast, getting away from the crumbs and shards.

Four was back to where he started in all but state.

Four had one last trick up his sleeve. It was an all or nothing gamble here.

Splat tim and Tina arrived at the scene, only to get completely brushed over with a caking of punches from Three.

Three leaped as hard as she could to the top of the tower, bleeding a bit out.

Four ran as fast as his crippled legs allowed him to the remains of the truck to find some wires. It would have to do.

Three couldn't see the situation that well, all she could do was wait for her eye to heal a bit.

When it did, and she came down, she found multiple wires outlining the place. Four was nowhere to be found.

Three simply passed the rubber.

"No more tricks, Four." Three scoffed.

All of a sudden, Four popped out, a wire and electric box in hand.

"No tricks, only treats, bitch!" Four yelled, shocking the entire body of red ink.

A nearby crash caught the attention of everyone. Out of the smoke came Marie.

"F-Four? You came back?" Marie smiled.

Four nodded, then gave a small finger salute.

Splat Tim and Splat Tina came out of the corner to witness the forthcomings. Sean finally ran this way to see as well.

The crackles of electricity bathe the monster in the light she so seemed to control.

Fate, this was. A shining fate, flying further than our heroes' grins as they saw Three being electrocuted to death.

Three said nothing. It was their moment, all their work, the planning, the horror, it was subsiding faster than the sun's horizon to a new fate.

The crew watched with their jaws dropped. The finale, ere the sun's next rise.

But Three, completely lost in anger, found the energy needed to walk out of the electric field, and, before anyone could notice, shot herself to Four, using what new strength she found, focused it all, and ripped out Four's ink sac.

The group just stood there as Four screeched like a banshee addicted to pain meds would.

Kicking Four to the electrical field, she knocked down the current.

"You died as you lived, being a fucking annoying brat." Three said.

Four struggled to get up. He crawled towards Sean's burning truck, but it was of no use. Three punched him once, and he was cold.

The group just stood there, dumbfounded. All except for one pair of pitter patters.

It was Marie's turn.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Three scoffed, then coughed."Lemme guess, you're gonna sick all of your friends on me?"

Marie gave them the signal to stay back, and change their ink colors to her own. Then, she brought out her charger.

"Shut up and fight." said Marie.

Marie charged up her charger, and aimed for Three's head. She didn't move.

Once fully charged, Marie didn't fire. Rather, she started spinning the charger by the trigger, coating her in a fountain or barrier of ink.

"So this is your best technique?" Three scoffed."I must say, that is quite genius."

The ink began to coat the ground near Marie, then began to spread outwards. Marie gave the signal for the others to arm themselves.

"The best offense is a completely invulnerable defense." Marie scoffed."Sheldon died blowing your infernal portal to the gates of hell, and he won't let you rest there."

Three's face changed for a second. She was angry for a second, but thought for a moment, and cooled herself.

"Then he died for nothing, like Four has." Three grinned."You know Callie's dead, why even bother?"

Marie said nothing, and waited for her ink to engulf Three's shoes.

"However, Fate does not wane for anyone. It, or I, are inevitable." Three scoffed."The only thing that will remain in this world are the end results. Nothing will remain of you, and the next bearers of torch will never know you existed."

Marie just flipped her off.

"Have it your way." Three sighed.

Three walked slowly, and grabbed the Hydra Splatling from the corner. The ink was rising.

"Arrivederci." Three said in cold fashion.

In the moment, Three threw the massive piece of metal at Marie, who submerged herself in ink to dodge, then rising back up.

Only to find Three inside of the barrier.

An uppercut later, Marie was pelted to the ground, the ink levels receding.

Three woke Four up, him barely clinging on to life.

"This is the cost of failure, Four." Three scoffed."Remember that."

Three held Marie by the mouth and neck, and waited for response. Tim, Tina, and Sean stood there, with no weaponry and no means of attack.

Marie managed to slip in a fragmented "Fo-" before getting two fingers jammed into her brain matter.

"Like I told you, open mind." Three said.

She dropped her grip on Marie, then firmly shot her fist through Marie's chest, ripping out her soul, and crushing it.

The corpse just lay there, unmoving and cold.

"I see through you, Four." Three started."You're nothing but a lazy manchild who can't grasp the concept of sacrifice and responsibility until it's all too late. And die like it."

Four couldn't hear anything but ringing at that point as he charged towards Three and attempted to stab her, which was met with a slam of elbow and a kick, sending him flying towards the burnt out truck.

"Know your place, boy." Three yelled.

Four just devolved into a whining mess, crying pleas of mercy, throwing around a deep fryer at Three full of crumbs.

"There you go." Three responded.

Just as Three finally got into the truck, Four stopped his shameless pouting.

"You know what, you think you see through me, but it's the opposite." Four sighed."You're think you're this cool force of fate, but in reality, all you are is some arrogant, nihilistic, twat with a temper issue."

"What did you say?" Three started but stopped, and instead kicked Four near the center of the dirty Square.

"Arrivederci." Three sighed, pointing her Hero Shot at Four.

*Click*

"Huh, son of a bitch, you did survive one ink tank." Three said."Lemme just refill."

Three went to the center, near the deep fryer container, and submerged herself, filling her ink tank to full capacity.

"As your reward for surviving all of that, any final words?" Three said, pointing the barrel once more.

Four sighed.

"Go To Hell."

Three smiled, before frowning, before screaming out in horror as she felt her insides being ripped and burned.

This pain was worse than the electrocution and bolts combined. Four cringed at this.

Three didn't even bleed. All she noticed was a clean dead zone of land.

"So, what's it gonna be, huh?" Four yelled in frustration."Any more condescending comments? How we should die instead of doing your one fucking job and helping people? No more funny remarks? Judd got your tongue?"

Three mustered the will to open her mouth.

"I a- I am.." Three started.

"You are what?" Four asked.

Three's cool face resided, and was replaced with a horribly frustrated expression.

"I AM THE FUCKING STRONG!" Three yelled, screaming, running her fists towards Four, who simply dodged and kicked Three in the stomach.

Three rolled towards the exit of the Square. Something came over her. She never felt this emotion before. Something not programmed into that blob of sludge.

Something from Three. It was a Fight or Flight instinct.

She used what remained of her body and ran for it.

Four got scared of this notion. He was too far away to do anything.

He ran as much as he could, but it was too much.

Suddenly, Three regained herself.

"Pitiful, Pitiful! Can't even run!" Three said.

One second felt like a thousand years at this moment. A downward spiral of lost vengeance, Four, for the first time in his life, didn't know what to do. But his body did.

It brought out the Time Cutter.

* * *

**_Four could only manifest half a second, but it was enough to scream in pain, roll to the side, and fling his brush as hard as he could. It stabbed the last projection of Three's fate._**

* * *

It worked. Three stopped for one second in shock, and it was enough to get impaled by the brush.

Four was completely out of energy at this point. He army crawled his way there, and once there, used his own brush to help stand up.

"I'll ask you the same question you asked me: any final words?" Four asked, holding Three's mutilated body to the best of his ability.

"B-B-B." Three responded.

"Someone cue the music references." Four sighed.

Three's rage built up in her face to an unquantifiable extent, but all brushed away with a grin, and a slight hand movement. Ok.

"Another one bites the dust."

*Click*

* * *

The sun was falling, the trees were dying, the children were gone in the town square.

Four woke up in a heavy sweat.

He grabbed a cup of beer, hit his pipe, and walked outside. It was raining a bit, with Marie and Sheldon sitting on the porch.

"Hey." Four responded."Sorry, bad dreams."

"You are a whiny one." Marie giggled."Ready to actually do work? Or do you want to stare at the pigeons?"

Four didn't respond, but just sat down.

"Man, I would love to be a bird." Four started."Like a goose."

"That's dumb." Marie responded.

"Listen if I could just sit in a lake while old people threw bread at me, that would be an amazing life." Four said."That's why, if I could be any animal, a goose would clearly be the most optimal choice.


	11. Finally ending this Fucking Series(maybe

With all the shit in the world, I finally have some time to play animal- I mean read splatoon stories.

What, did you actually think I have time to read through paragraphs of text? I like movies because they compress detail into a frame. If there is one thing I love about them, and tried to do in here, is leave whatever nasty details up to the supercomputer that is the human mind. I personally believe I screwed up. Reading through all of the reviews for the stories, I noticed a running trend: Every story that isn't obviously borderline 50 shades of grey deviantart edition is held to some high praise for some thing or the other, 90% of the time being good ideas or detail or mood. Now, no offense to any writer here, but I have rarely found a negative comment. This, in my mind, either means people here love jerkin' each other off (sometimes literally), or, these are just really good writers. From what I have read, it feels like the latter, and so I took a hard look at my own writing, and it is just shit. God, where to begin?

\- Chapter 1-6 were never supposed to exist, but I needed a way to guilt trip Four so that when Marie, his best friend, eventually dies, he gives in to TartarThree's mocking, eventually developing her belief system, genociding some Octolings, including Eight, who was meant to be just some sweet, naive kid who wanted to save his race getting the shit beaten out of him by Four, eventually in some spinoff getting sanitized and then put in some horror trip dream with Four at the end of the series. But really, some atoms got displaced? It feels like Trunks and Cell from DBZ but without any sense. And what was that whole Four got back in time shit? That was never supposed to happen.

-Even after the change, all of the Gods were meant to get backstories. Space was supposed to treasure his position the most because he had nothing and was basically a shitty archer known as such throughout the universe.

-Four's characterization along with his landlord and friend just didn't feel like it said enough.

-Chapter 2 just slogged on for way too long. I liked when Four hid from the SS and him intentionally luring normal Three to save him, but that's it.

-The whole Marina being mad at Four makes no goddamn sense. Pearl gave him the laptop, so why be mad? More guilt trip material?

-The whole Joker and Ben Shapiro thing is pure cringe. Enough said.

-The entire third chapter felt disingenuous.

-Seriously? Four's entire arc is that he devolves from a confident but careless genius, get a wake up slap from reality, and tries to change society for the better, according to how TartarThree pulled him, so why on god's name would you just let him brush it off? More points? It's disingenuous.

\- The entire fourth chapter was nonsense, where no good characterization was done, where they just walked, and Ranger was boring as hell.

-What the bloody hell is chapter 5? Too much garbage exposition that may never receive fruition. The weapons? A thing I carelessly slogged on. Trump? Something I made up along the way. It feels like fluff. Which it was. The only part I think is close to decent is the part where Four pulls a Jojo and forces the Space God to warp the spring to him.

-I hate Chapter 6. Nothing of note happens here, either. The characters feel stagnant. I did tolerate the last part with Four and Marie.

-Chapter 7, aside from 1, feels like the best in this shitshow, and even then just has lukewarm characterization.

-Dan was supposed to be the main character. Originally, the story started with Dan as a Human highschooler who was bankrupt in talent and good at blending in but wanted glory, some other guy named Speed Lord (yes, based on Filthy Frank's Speed Lord), who was talented in everything but brainpower and just wanted a quiet life, contrasting Dan. Eventually, Dan would use hours of grinding to learn how to compensate for his lack of talent to kick his ass and become his friend, then kill some elementals, befriend the Fire one, beat a Psychic in a tetris match, get the power of reality, make it look like he's possessed to mess with his friends, go to space to find the time stone, that guy goes to the future, so Dan and Speed Lord cryogenically put themselves in stasis, Speed Lord breaks out early to do some fun stuff, boom, A4DGW happens.

-Aside from the climax, the Pulp Fiction parody was gonna be my magnum opus, but somehow I botch it up by adding aspects of Four trying to get the Octolings to play along.

-Marie's distraught with losing Callie is never expanded upon, ever.

-What is the difference between mind control and assimilation? As you know, it's never brought up, but the difference is is that assimilation fuses the two consciences into one permanently, and there would be a gimmick during the Time Loop where Tartar sends subliminal messages to before Three got taken over to control Three indefinetly.

-Oh god, Bomb jumping. Four jumped with autobombs, while Marie jumped with regular bombs. Bomb jumping was supposed to be a feat of skill, but Four thought of a way to make it easier because he is far less experienced than Marie and less apt at leading a group, showing off his wit for the 3457th time. But that's never mentioned, so I guess bomb jumping is a feat of ingenuity here and a feat of skill in the salmon run section.

-Oh yeah, Marie and Four are good friends now, even if that was never hinted at in the slightest.

-I just couldn't decide whether Three was a hero or a villan amongst the crowd, (with some shitty resolution in Ch3) and then turns into a hero. This is getting shittier than Batman V Superman, which hurts my soul.

-I'd say the ploy of Three destroying Dan's tech work, except for the fact that Dan is the literal god of reality and can make anything from any dimensional tier in seconds. This could have been sorted out in two easy ways. Actually letting him show off trying to cling on to humanity in contrast to the other gods, bathing in godly glory, because he believes that something like that would throw away the value of everything, and letting him leave sooner.

-The entire section with musical motifs was pure cringe. Enough said.

-Splat Tim's inclusion felt forced. I needed more characters eventually, but should have introduced them in a way that fits.

-There is no point to the ark polaris section other than to build up something that will (probably) never happen.

\- So I guess Four grew impatient with no hints as to why in the dialogue. Brilliant.

-The joke was in Mario Galaxy, Mario used a spring mushroom to leap over Chain Chomps. (dear god why)

-The convincing of Four to go fight Three again feels rushed as all hell.

-So Four gets his ass kicked by Three, but now because of mUH HuBRis, wins? It feels disingenuous.

-How did I not insert any religious or mathematical theming in Three? She's the number Three!

All of this, and more that my pee pee brain probably missed, is why I just want to end the series. Don't get me wrong, my goal to write more words than the bible still stands, it's just that I'll expand this universe in other stories. Like.. (note that these are just off the wall ideas)

-A Pokemon series where Gloria is a crazy cannibal obsessed with vanity, getting off on emotionally breaking other people, and ruling over Galar, with Hop still managing to be annoying, Allister being a puppet of the Mother Demon, who Gloria signs a contract with to turn Bede into an eggplant to defame him and turn Marnie into a cat to defame her town, ultimately taken by the Mother Demon to take her body because she feels insecure about her own power, since mortals are rising with even more power than her, so she steals one of these "alleged"'s bodies, but it backfires, so Gloria becomes Queen of Hell, and then the S/M protagonist comes and banishes her into hell. Oh yeah, and did I mention she has a Yamper Stand?

-Agent 3 vs Killer Bean. Enough said.

-Agent 8 becomes a communist. If I ever return to this story, then obviously this story is in an alternate universe because it screws with Eight's character hard.

-Mario revisits every adventure in every game he's ever had at once. Also there's a dinner table murder mystery where he tries to find the identity of Mr. L.

-A different inkling, the Resident Representative from New Horizons, and some unknown third character lose their chance to get a frozen turkey for thanksgiving, so a sanitized Eight tells them of the universe whereabouts of a rare species of bird, so they go on an adventure that challenges their philosophy on life and resolve in a race between the forces of Doom's Demons and Toon Link, who evolved Ciela, the spirit of Courage and Time, into literally The World, in an attempt to hunt, kill, and eat Melia from Xenoblade. And on the way, they kill a Gamer, so then they race forward to take back RR's island from Tom Nook, existential life choices on the way, to prep it for the combined assault of Melia's species and the Gamer Society.

-Shulk from Smash bros gets made fun of by the Xenoblade 2 cast because his girlfriend is a bird.

Again, note that these are just some random ideas I cooked up that are more than brainstorming, but less than a rough draft.

So, I'm just gonna say the entire plot of this story outright, or what it was meant to be.

-I already said the plot of the Dan prequel, so on his character, he basically starts off as a petty crook trying to make it big by doing business with local schoolboys, eventually meeting up with some tech genius who gives him his signature laser cannon. They despise each other, but Dan's knowledge and the second's genius make for a deadly duo until the second is taken out by speed lord, who saw a premonition of the future by a fortune teller about Dan. Dan believes that, like in a game of tetris, if you can get lucky enough, you can get all line pieces, and with that, a three year old could beat Wumbo. However, if you manipulate the RNG, you can shorten the time until your win. Basically: he will always have the environmental and informational advantage, as opposed to Four, a genius who runs head first into everything. He believes he is the most qualified to take on the threats because he is the one with at the bottom with nothing to lose. He is the working class. He is the average joe. He will never amount to anything, and every villain attempts to prove it to him by showing how worthless his perseverance is compared to their genius, and showing how much more he can lose. Dan is somewhat of a sociopath who only truly loves his dog, who becomes the eventual ruler of the multiverse, and his mother, who dies.

-The time loop arc, while corny, was supposed to showcase Four using his wit to track every branch of the timeline; every event that will happen and has. Three was always meant to be one step ahead, with Four eventually realizing, no matter what, Marie will die, coming to terms with her death. Oh yeah, Marie. She was supposed to be in a dillema where the only thing that motivated her to live was the thought of making her loved ones feel the pain of loss, but not being able to bear the sorrow of seeing one of them die. In the only branch where Four wins, she comes to terms with this and sacrifices herself, preventing her from feeling the sorrow, while allowing her loved ones to look to the sky because she died protecting a friend and her city. Throw in some symbolism, think about it less, and boom. But then Four gets a chance to revive her, he gets greedy in his damaged state after time prison and literal prison, and does. Oh yeah Four develops Epitaph and gets the Monado.

-Then he gets crazy ideas after some coaxing from Octavio, convincing himself and Marie that the Octolings migrating will cause a wide array of issues, so he reactivates the Tartar cannon in an attempt to send them back from whence they came, is stopped by Off the Hook while Eight is still hanging out underground with Cuttlefish. Using an Ultra Stamp and a truck, Four takes Marina hostage, does some interrogations, and then finds TartarThree, who escaped and feigned being normal Three with Eight to coerce the two to fight, unfortunately Eight loses, gets sent back to the Metro, gets the Super Reality Stone, which is basically the core of the main Reality universe, which acts as a universe sized stone for the multiverse, and uses it to beat Four, who gets sent either back in time to early life Dan or to a snow mountain. Then he comes back, has a Chairman Rose look outside a window with Eight, then they fight, then they get interrupted by Dan, Speed Lord, and BOTW Link fighting the wielder of the Super Space Stone, then the Stone users run, then some final battle shit happens.

-After that, Four goes home in time for the last Splatfest, then he becomes the local Chaos leader, and is forced to go to war with Marie, but then devolves into madness, and tries to take over the world in an ironic twist, loses, gets banished to the minecraft lands, comes back when Three gets off more with his broken state, Three either eats a golden pizza or obtains the three Molontonari weapons to become GER, when Four stops him and dies. The end.

If you noticed a theme with all of these things, aside from being weird, compared to the other stuff, A4DGW is corny as hell. And because of all of the flaws and horrible ideas and subpar character arcs, I am cancelling Agent 4 does Gang Weed, at least for now.

(God, even this summary sucks ass.)


End file.
